Problems Archives - Page 33 of 34

Building Bridges

December 3, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 5 comments

Since the beginning of time, people have built bridges to get from where they are to where they want to be.

Or, they built bridges so other people could get to them. Either way, they made connections.

We sometimes forget that the greatest bridges cannot be seen with our eyes.

Emotional or spiritual connections can last longer than the best built physical bridge. Those lasting connections, however, demand work. We must be willing to:

Invest time and effort to stay in touch
Quickly correct any misunderstandings or problems
Accept one another’s imperfections
Confront issues that can’t be overlooked
Forgive each other’s failures

Building physical bridges can be messy.

Frequent difficulties include:

Bad weather
Delays in receiving building materials
Tired and grouchy workers
Unexpected expenses

Building emotional bridges can be far messier.

Relationship challenges include:

Multiple responsibilities
Limited information
Fatigue and bad moods
Illness
Financial strains
Personality differences

So, is the effort worth it?

Absolutely!

I continually give thanks to all who have loved me through good times and bad. I pray that I will always be there for them, as well.

In every relationship, we can learn from the greatest bridge builder of all.

He came from heaven to show us the way to join Him there.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me'” (John 14:6).

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Bite Your Tongue

November 19, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

Bite your tongue tells another person to remain silent.

We might say bite your tongue to:

Declare we don’t want to hear what the other person has to say. That person’s statement may or may not be true. For example, someone might predict a snowfall. If we don’t want snow, we say, “Bite your tongue!”
Encourage someone to remain silent when another person hurts or displeases her. We will explore this meaning today.

People may hurt us, yet we can choose not to hurt them.

We can’t bite our tongue and talk at the same time. If we wait before we speak, we save ourselves and others much heartache. I don’t want to say something I will regret, do you?

Gossips or busybodies talk when they shouldn’t. They should bite their tongues. However, if we try to hurt them or anyone else because they hurt us, we only make the problem bigger.

Everyone benefits when we think before we speak or act.

Instead of fighting back with our words, why not try one of the following?

Walk away.
Count to 10 (or more) before we respond.
Explain how the person’s words or actions made us feel, when we can do so calmly.
Pray for the person.
Say or do something nice for that person. We may gain a friend. If not, we still know we did the right thing.
Try to understand why the person acts the way he does.
Remember: We can’t control the other person, but we can control ourselves. Charles R. Swindoll said, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

“Help me, Lord, to keep my mouth shut and my lips sealed” (Psalm 141:3 TLB).

Do you have other helpful ideas for dealing with people who hurt us? Please comment below.

Thanks to Jenny Kuo for suggesting and modeling this expression.

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Don’t Borrow Trouble

November 5, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 3 comments

Are you a worrier?

Do you think nothing will get done unless you worry about it? If so, my friend, stop it! Don’t borrow trouble. You are causing yourself needless anxiety.

Several years ago, a baseball player offered a better approach. He declared, “Ain’t no need to worry!” (English teachers everywhere, please forgive the grammar. Pay attention instead to his philosophy.)

Worry neither prevents nor causes anything, except perhaps physical and emotional health problems.

If something’s going to happen, worry won’t stop it.
If it doesn’t happen, think of all the time you wasted.
Concentrate instead on what you can do.

We can make a difference if we:

Complete today’s work to the best of our ability.
Show love and kindness in all we do.
Thank God for each day’s opportunities.
Then, rest in the knowledge that our day was well lived.

I have to admit that worry still creeps into my life sometimes. Therefore, I have to continually tell myself not to borrow trouble. As is true of all my life, I remain a work in progress.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes” (Matthew 6:34, MSG).

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Excess Baggage

October 22, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

If you have flown recently, you know the financial cost of an extra suitcase or too much weight. In addition, who wants the backaches, delayed connections, and short tempers caused by excess baggage?

Frequent travelers learn to pack nothing but the essentials.

They leave everything else at home.

If we only did the same with the emotional baggage we carry.

Just like an overstuffed suitcase, excess emotional baggage carries great cost. When we let our negative feelings regarding past wrongs, real or imagined, control our lives:

We may have trouble getting and keeping jobs.
We tend to take our feelings out on innocent people around us.
People often avoid us and our bad tempers.
We may have difficulty sleeping.
We may suffer eating disorders.
We lose our ability to concentrate clearly.
We remain miserable until we work through whatever holds us back.

If we can rid ourselves of excess emotional baggage on our own, that’s great. If we need help, we should seek that assistance without delay.

As a combat soldier in an old television program frequently said, “Let it go. Just let it go.”

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

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Up a Creek without a Paddle

October 15, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

During my childhood, our family loved to fish and swim. We lived near a creek that was ice cold on the hottest summer day. After hours of working outside, nothing felt better than jumping into that freezing water.

It took our breath.
We shivered from the shock.
Yet, what a wonderful, refreshing way to cool down.

We did most of our fishing from the banks (sides) of the creek. A few friends preferred fishing from boats. Most used motorboats, but some rowed with oars (paddles).

Circumstances sometimes left those boaters up a creek without a paddle.

The creek was narrow in most places. Therefore, they could usually reach the banks, if they dropped a paddle.

However, problems did occur:

Wide places left them far from the banks.
High water after a hard rain added to their danger.
Not all those boaters could swim.
Hardly anyone owned a life jacket.

Losing a paddle under those circumstances left boaters in trouble. They were up a creek without a paddle.

Life’s like that.

On most occasions we find solutions to our problems, but not always.

Difficult circumstances arise that we can’t fix on our own.
We see no way out.

We’re up a creek without a paddle.

How easily we forget that the One with the answers to all life’s hardships remains just a prayer away.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19 NIV).

Do you have a favorite expression or one you want explained? If so, please comment.

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I’m All Ears

October 1, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

This little rabbit nibbled grass near our back door. He lifted those ears as soon as he heard us behind him. His body went down, but his ears went up! “I’m all ears” he seemed to say. “I hear your every move and sound.”

He stopped:

Eating
Twitching his nose
Hopping
Looking around.

We had his full attention.

We can learn a lot from that kind of focus. Don’t you wish people would listen to one another so well? How often do we try to talk to someone, but we don’t give or receive full attention? While one person talks, the other person’s attention strays to:

The television
A cell phone
A computer screen
Another person
A book
Work
Anywhere but on the person talking

What does that say to the person trying to be heard?

I’m too busy.
You’re not important.
Leave me alone.
Someone or something else matters more than you.
I don’t care what you have to say.

Let’s listen to one another—really listen, with our ears, with our eyes, and with our body language. Like our rabbit friend, let’s send the message, “I’m all ears. I want to hear what you have to say.”

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 NIV).

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Blowing Off Steam

September 24, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 9 comments

Old Faithful, the best known geyser in Yellowstone Park, blows off steam on a regular basis.

Park employees keep her schedule posted, so visitors know when to gather around her.

The “oohs” and “aahs” begin when that built-up thermal pressure blows. The height of her eruptions varies from 100-180 feet. You can watch Old Faithful blowing off steam by webcam at Old Faithful Live.

Some people blow off steam on a regular basis.

Anger wells up within them until they can hold it no longer. Then they explode.

We love to see Old Faithful blowing off steam, but not people.

Anger, an emotion we all share, is not necessarily a bad thing.

Jesus, who lived a perfect life, vented his anger when appropriate.However, we can carry anger to an extreme.

We need to control our anger rather than allowing it to control us.

Confront anger rather than letting it build.
Express anger in helpful rather than harmful ways.
Once we resolve the situation causing our anger, let the anger go.

“’In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26 NIV).

Do you have a favorite expression or one you want explained? If so, please comment.

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On Top of the World

September 17, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

We love to be on top of the world.

Yet, we don’t have to climb a mountain or fly a plane to get there. Think about:

Wedding vows
The birth of a child or grandchild
The first day of a long-awaited job

All these and more can make us feel on top of the world.

What if we could experience those emotions forever?

We would be exhausted – no good to ourselves or anyone else. We love grand moments. However, we cannot maintain that level of excitement forever.

Real living includes level ground.

Washing dishes
Changing diapers
Difficult days at work

Level ground keeps our families and our world functioning as they should.

Real living also includes valleys.

Relationship difficulties
Death
Financial crises

Valleys may not be fun. Yet, through them we grow stronger.

From the valleys, we look up.

For many, that is where we find our strength. Through the power of God’s love, we can stay on top of the world, regardless of our circumstances.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging” (Psalm 46:1-3 NIV).

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Get to the Bottom of It

September 10, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 0 Comment

To get to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, we must travel by foot, mule, or raft. Be prepared! Hikers should carry plenty of water and food. We also need lots of sunscreen and appropriate shoes and clothing. To see firsthand what’s down there requires an investment of time, money, and effort.

To get to the bottom of anything, we’re seeking an answer or solving a problem.

We want the truth—to know exactly what’s going on. That takes work, regardless of the task. Some people declare they will get to the bottom of a situation “if it’s the last thing I ever do!”

Examples of those who get to the bottom of problems on a regular basis include:

Police investigating a crime
Parents questioning disobedient children
Counselors exploring individual or family difficulties
Executives seeking answers for business losses

Each of us needs to get to the bottom of our purpose in life.

We have only a few short years. Will we use them well? Will we continue to explore until we discover life’s greater meaning?

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32 NIV).

Thanks to Emily Akin for suggesting this expression.

Do you have a favorite expression or one you want explained? If so, please comment below.

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Let Go and Let God

July 30, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

If we Google let go and let God, we receive about 37,400 results. This expression is probably best known as a slogan for Al-Anon, a support group for friends and family of people with addictions. Yet, its popularity goes much further. But what does it mean?

First, let’s look at what let go and let God does not mean.

It does not:

Justify neglect of responsibility
Equal apathy or laziness
Mean accepting defeat

God gave us a brain and physical abilities for a reason. He expects us to use them, under His guidance.

Let go and let God does mean we:

Realize we are not all knowing. God is.
Understand we are not all powerful. God is.
Accept we cannot be everywhere. God can.
Recognize we do not sees life’s big picture — past, present, and future. God does.
Confess our limitations in order to receive God’s unlimited power.
Let go of fear, jealousy, ego, worry, and other negative emotions.

Releasing control goes against our nature.

Some of us want to:

Fix any problem
Take responsibility for every solution
Manage everyone and everything

Yet, only by releasing our lives and those we love to God’s will can we experience true peace.

Like the child in the offering plate, we must give God all. God’s answers may not come in the way and at the time we expect. Nevertheless, they will come.

We have a choice.

Will we let go and let God or continue our self-defeating quest for control?

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Thanks to Karen Atwood for the suggestion.

Do you have a favorite expression or one you want explained? If so, please comment.

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