Relationships Archives - Page 34 of 36

Push All the Wrong Buttons

May 27, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 3 comments

As a person challenged by any kind of electronics, I often push all the wrong buttons. Regardless of the gadget, I can mess it up.

Cell phones
Laptops
Notebooks
Personal computers
Televisions remotes
Cameras
Microwaves

If it has buttons, I have problems. Nevertheless, I’m learning. I know I need help.

I seek guidance from people with more knowledge.
I review online tutorials.
I read my instruction book.
If all else fails, I seek help from the manufacturer – I go to the source.

Sadly, we have the same problem in relationships. We often push all the wrong buttons of other people.

We disobey rules.
We anger or upset one another.
We seek our own pleasure, regardless of who we hurt.

Let’s learn in relationships. Let’s recognize we need help.

Listen to wiser, more mature people.
Study ways to improve.
Read the Bible, the greatest instruction book in the world.
Go to our Creator – the source of all wisdom.

“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths” (Psalm 25:4 NIV).

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Don’t Get Too Big for Your Britches

April 29, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

Don’t get too big for your britches has nothing to do with our height, weight, or the size of our pants. Rather, it warns us against having too much pride. Similar expressions tell us not to put on a high hat or act high and mighty.

When life goes well, we should certainly enjoy it. However, we don’t want to grow arrogant over our good fortune. Circumstances can quickly change.

Let’s maintain balance in our lives.

Celebrate success, but give credit to those who helped us succeed.
Enjoy financial gain but share that wealth with those in need.
Seek the occupation of our dreams but express appreciation for the work of others.
Strive for self-improvement but never at anyone else’s expense.

We all put our britches on one leg at a time.

No one deserves to be viewed as less worthy than anyone else. Likewise, no one deserves to be viewed as more worthy than others. Let’s treat everyone with the same respect we desire.

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18 NET).

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You Can’t Judge a Book by Its Cover

April 8, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 0 Comment

Have you ever wanted to throw a book in disgust? The title promised the help you needed. The cover picture looked perfect. Reviewers praised it. However, it was worthless to you. The difference in appearance and content prove you can’t judge a book by its cover.

Looking good does not equal goodness.

That’s true for books and true for life.

Businesses use misleading ads. Politicians make campaign promises they fail to keep. Much around us sounds or looks good … until we try them.

Good looking people who dress well get more job interviews. They also get more dates. They don’t always make the best employees or spouses.

Smooth, shiny hybrid apples look perfect. They don’t taste nearly as good as ugly, knotty vintage apples. The hybrid pleases the eye. The vintage gains our loyalty.

Like vintage apples, what looks bad on the outside may hide a treasure inside.

We find pearls in oysters. We find gold and silver in rocks. Don’t overlook possible treasures based simply on outward appearances.

Let’s look beyond the surface to find what matters most in life.

“People look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7 NET).

Note: I found all the books in this photo true to their cover.

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From Here to Timbuktu

March 11, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 1 comment

For a long time I thought Timbuktu was just a funny sounding name that symbolized any distant place.

If I wanted to tell someone how hard it was to get somewhere, I said it was like going from here to Timbuktu. That’s a lot farther than from here to yonder.

Imagine my surprise when I learned Timbuktu actually exists.

I also learned this town in Mali, West Africa is not the farthest from my home. Neither is it the hardest to reach.

I still love the name. Timbuktu has a unique sound, don’t you think?

A few years ago, a niece told me she has a friend who worked in Mali. I had a Timbuktu connection!

As my knowledge of geography grew, so did my awareness of my worldwide responsibility.

Whether I live here (wherever here may be for me) or around the world, I am one with other citizens of earth. We are all creations of our mighty God.

What a joy to love my brothers and sisters from here to Timbuktu!

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! (Psalm 133:1 NIV)

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We Reap What We Sow

March 4, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

If we sow (or plant) tomato seeds, we reap (or harvest) tomatoes. If we sow corn seeds, we reap corn. If we sow bean seeds, we reap beans. If we sow flower seeds, we reap flowers. Do you see a pattern here?

Logic tells us that we reap what we sow.

That truth applies to behavior as well as gardens.

If we study hard, we make better grades.
If we practice regularly, we improve our performance.
If we work well, we advance in our career.

As with most of life, exceptions occur.

We can’t guarantee that our flower seeds will sprout and grow. Bad weather, hungry animals, and other conditions may result in a poor crop year. However, we can be certain that flower seeds will produce flowers, not potatoes.

Neither can we guarantee that positive behavior will always result in positive responses. In general, however, we live with the consequences of the choices we make — we reap what we sow.

If we ignore the rules, we get in trouble.
If we follow the rules, we stay out of trouble.
If we frown at people, they frown back.
If we smile at people, they smile back.
If we focus on the temporary, we reap temporary rewards.
If we focus on the eternal, we reap eternal rewards.

Let’s sow good seed, not just for our own sake but also for the sake of others.

Remember, whether beans or behavior, we reap what we sow.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7 NIV).

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Love is Blind

February 11, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 5 comments

On Valentine’s Day we give flowers, candy, stuffed animals, and other gifts to those we love. This special day also reminds us that love is blind.

We see people differently when we look through eyes of love.

We focus on their good traits and overlook the bad. This happens with boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, and children. Because love is blind, we think our loved one is the smartest, cutest, sweetest person on earth.

That doesn’t mean we never see a person’s faults.

Yet, because we love them, we look for the best in them. We see what we want to see.

A 2004 scientific study verified that love is blind. The University College London found that love suppresses the part of our brain that controls critical thought.

We probably need some degree of blindness to keep loving feelings strong. At the same time, we need to take our blinders off when those faults become harmful. Then, we must clearly see what needs to change and take the steps to change it.

Teaching a child right from wrong requires a strong will. So does voicing concerns to a spouse.

True love is an act of the will, not emotion.

By working through difficult times, relationships grow.

True love says:

I will do what’s best for you, whether I feel like it or not.
I will do what’s best for you whether you deserve it or not.
I will do what’s best for you, because that’s how true love works.

Let’s be thankful love is blind to the little faults in one another. Let’s act with eyes wide open when true love requires it.

“For the LORD disciplines those he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12 NET)

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Two Heads are Better than One

January 28, 2014 Diana Derringer Comments 1 comment

Two heads are better than one—good to remember when we have trouble solving problems alone.

Independence can be a positive trait, but not always.

I like to find answers on my own. However, that desire can grow into stubbornness. I don’t like to admit that, but it’s true.

Sometimes I have to seek help.

Sources for that help include:

Books.
Online searches.
Videos.
Manuals.

Occasionally none of those provide the answer I need. When that happens, I reach out to other people—real flesh and blood individuals.

With so much technology available, we often overlook the people around us.

One great discovery I’ve made: Most people want to help. They enjoy sharing their knowledge or skills. They like to feel helpful. Although not always convenient, they gladly stop to offer advice or other assistance.

A different personality and a new approach may provide exactly what we need when we need it.

Not only are two heads better than one for problem solving. We then get to celebrate success with another person. After sharing the challenge, we get to share the joy!

Thanks to my great-nephews Logan and Landon for demonstrating this expression.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV).

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Caught Red-Handed

December 10, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

One of my favorite cartoons features a cute little boy. His mom told him he couldn’t have a cookie. So what did he do? When he thought Mom wasn’t looking, he took a cookie, of course.

What he didn’t know: Mom was watching. He was caught red-handed.

He tried to deny his guilt. But they both knew better. He held in his little hand clear and undeniable evidence.

That doesn’t sound much different from adult behavior, does it?

Every day people get caught red-handed.

Yet, they:

Blame others.
Twist the truth.
Try to cover up the facts.
Deny the facts.

Everyone knows what happened and who did it. The evidence convicts them. Like someone with blood on his hands after killing a person or animal, they get caught red-handed.

What kind of example does that set for children and youth? How can adults expect young people to do what’s right if they don’t?

It’s time to set the standard for good behavior.

Admit guilt when wrong.
Apologize for damage done.
Correct the problem, if possible.

“I’m sorry.” “Will you forgive me?” Short simple words that need to be used more often.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16, ESV).

Thanks to my great-nephew Kaleb for modeling a behavior I’m sure he would never do.

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Building Bridges

December 3, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 5 comments

Since the beginning of time, people have built bridges to get from where they are to where they want to be.

Or, they built bridges so other people could get to them. Either way, they made connections.

We sometimes forget that the greatest bridges cannot be seen with our eyes.

Emotional or spiritual connections can last longer than the best built physical bridge. Those lasting connections, however, demand work. We must be willing to:

Invest time and effort to stay in touch
Quickly correct any misunderstandings or problems
Accept one another’s imperfections
Confront issues that can’t be overlooked
Forgive each other’s failures

Building physical bridges can be messy.

Frequent difficulties include:

Bad weather
Delays in receiving building materials
Tired and grouchy workers
Unexpected expenses

Building emotional bridges can be far messier.

Relationship challenges include:

Multiple responsibilities
Limited information
Fatigue and bad moods
Illness
Financial strains
Personality differences

So, is the effort worth it?

Absolutely!

I continually give thanks to all who have loved me through good times and bad. I pray that I will always be there for them, as well.

In every relationship, we can learn from the greatest bridge builder of all.

He came from heaven to show us the way to join Him there.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me'” (John 14:6).

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Attitude of Gratitude

November 26, 2013 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

The Thanksgiving holiday reminds us to express an attitude of gratitude.

During this special time, we take notice of and give thanks for our many blessings.

All too often, however, that attitude changes as easily as the seasons. Once Thanksgiving passes, so does our time of giving thanks.

Why not keep a thankful heart all year?

Why not focus on what we have rather than what we want? Why not view our glass as half-full rather than half-empty? Why be grumpy when we can be grateful? Why envy others who have more “stuff.” Why not be grateful we can share our “stuff” and then give some of it to someone who needs it?

Instead of building a bigger house, why not give thanks for a safe place to live.
Instead of buying a fancier car, why not be grateful for two good legs?
Instead of buying the latest tech toy, why not spend time talking to someone face to face?
Instead of eating too much, why not donate to the local food pantry. (See photo above.)
Instead of buying new clothes, why not recycle old ones? (Vintage is always in style.)

With all the money we save, think how much good we can do for others. As one song says, “Give it away.” Now that’s an attitude of gratitude and a great way to give thanks.

Will we allow thanksgiving to remain a one-day holiday or make it a lifestyle?

“Oh, give thanks to the God of heaven, for his loving-kindness continues forever” (Psalm 136:26 TLB).

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