Relationships Archives - Page 7 of 36

Herding Cats

January 16, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 2 comments

Juggling several responsibilities feels like herding cats. Difficult at its best, it becomes impossible at its worst. That truth holds, whether we:

Teach an unruly class
Work on multiple assignments

We find ourselves spread too thin.

Herding cats usually refers to an unmanageable group of people.

Trying to organize them becomes a nightmare. Think about:

Planning a wedding with people from several states
Getting a perfect picture of all those people

A few years ago, a commercial based on this expression became wildly popular. It compared the ease of herding cattle to the difficulty of herding cats.

Caring for small children frequently feels like herding cats.

Ask day care workers or preschool teachers. They organize school plays or end-of-year programs. Yet, children have others interests and ignore most directions.

Our most difficult work often becomes our most rewarding.

We make a greater difference than we realize.

Seemingly minor moments leave lasting impressions.
People hear and recall when we wonder if anyone heard or learned anything.

Keep working. Keep changing lives. Keep herding those cats.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV).

Thanks to Darrin Jenkins for the suggestion. Image by Jan Mallander from Pixabay.

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When puppies have a tug of war, they use their mouths. However, people pull with their hands. Each team wants to pull the other over a line between them. Team members pull by alternating hand over fist.

Today, hand over fist usually means a quick and continuous action.

This applies whether:

Playing tug of war
Climbing a rope
Pulling something or someone with a rope

According to The Phrase Finder, an earlier version was hand over hand and meant “making steady progress.” Steady progress may be slower. However, it often results in more secure and lasting results.

This expression frequently refers to people who make money hand over fist.

Shrewd financial decisions increase their wealth. They may not grab money with their hands, but they do profit from business deals. Many times, their gain means someone else’s loss. They fight with no holds barred.

No decision or action should deliberately harm others.

The bottom line: If anyone suffers unnecessarily, the price is too high. Neither financial profit nor social gain are worth it. In a personal tug of war, let love for God and love for others pull every choice to the right side.

“The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 6:10 NIV).

Thanks to Cindy Shoemaker for the suggestion. Images by Darby Browning and Stéphane CHADOURNE from Pixabay

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Outside the Box

December 19, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

Sometimes we find ourselves doing the same thing over and over again. We make no progress because we never change. When that happens, we need to think outside the box.

To think outside the box means to think beyond the usual limits.

We think, plan, and act:

In new ways
Outside the norm
In unusual directions
With imagination
Apart from tradition

We no longer box ourselves in with the same old patterns.

Routine no longer rules. We leave our fear of the unknown and move into new territory.

During Christmas, let’s also think outside the box.

Rather than focus on giving gifts in boxes or bags, let’s focus on gifts that last. We soon forget or throw away most of our wrapped presents. Yet, we remember for a lifetime such treasures as:

Kindness
Trustworthiness
Helping hands
Time together
Shared sorrow or joy
True friendship

Now is a great time to throw out the box. Let’s:

Open our hearts
Give of ourselves
Share God’s gift of love to the world

Merry Christmas!

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him” (1 John 4:9 NIV).

Thanks to Brad Leverett for the suggestion.

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The Blind Leading the Blind

December 12, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

The blind leading the blind does not work.

I have two friends who are blind. Both possess amazing talents — musically, intellectually, spiritually, and socially. However, they can’t help one another, or anyone else, safely cross a street. That requires someone with sight.

Both have loving family and friends who assist them when needed. Both also have guide dogs specially trained to help them.

The blind leading the blind describes people unable to do a task who try to help others perform that same task.

They can’t do it. If they try, both end up in a right smart of trouble.

People need to know what they are doing in order to help someone else.

They must have:

Knowledge
Experience
Skills

For example:

Help with math requires an understanding of math.
Assistance with cooking requires the ability to cook.
Guiding a tour group requires knowledge of the area.

We find the blind leading the blind in the Bible.

Jesus used it in Luke 6:39 and Matthew 15:14. In Matthew, religious leaders rejected the truth. Jesus described them as the blind leading the blind.

To help others is a good thing. Yet, that requires:

A willingness to learn
The ability to assist

Learn and develop skills first.

Then offer help.

“Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” (Matthew 15:14 NIV).

Thanks to Brad Leverett for the suggestion and to Cole Torbert (and Louie) for the photo.

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Putting on the Ritz

December 5, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

During Christmas, we see examples of putting on the Ritz all around us.

Elaborate decorations
Rich food
Lavish gifts (and lots of them)
Lovely lights

Those of us who usually live simple lives go overboard in December.

Putting on the Ritz refers to the Ritz Hotels.

Those hotels offer a life of luxury. Only the wealthy can afford them. Occasionally, we may save enough money to enjoy that lifestyle for a few days. Sadly, some of us charge now and pay much more than the original cost later.

Fred Astaire made the Irving Berlin song, “Putting on the Ritz” popular.

When we put on the Ritz, we act rich and stylish.

We may not be able to afford to live high on the hog. Yet, we pretend we can. We like special treatment. An occasional splurge may lift our spirits.

However, let’s never forget those who need the basics.

Many in our world don’t have enough food, heat, shelter, or clothing. This Christmas and throughout the year, let’s brighten their lives by sharing with them.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal” (Matthew 6:19-20 NIV).

Thanks to Lindy Pierce for the suggestion. Image by Annette Meyer from Pixabay

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Bury the Hatchet

November 28, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

How I wish our world would learn to bury the hatchet. Divisions occur everywhere.

People have always disagreed, and that’s okay. However, why not learn to disagree agreeably? Instead, we:

Hate
Argue
Gossip
Fight

We war against one another with words and actions.

This happens among:

Family members
Friends
Neighbors
Cities
States
Countries

Bury the hatchet originated as a Native American tradition.

According to The Phrase Finder, “Hatchets were buried by the chiefs of tribes when they came to a peace agreement.” What a powerful symbol.

We can bury the hatchet too.

When we recognize destructive speech or behavior, we have a choice. We can follow the same pattern, or we can break the cycle.

Peace requires strength.

To choose not to harm another person or group of people calls for courage. If someone hurts us, our natural reaction is to hurt them. We are ready to lock horns. Yet, two wrongs don’t make a right. Suffering continues on both sides.

Jesus taught and lived love and forgiveness for everyone. Although not easy, that remains the only way to true and lasting peace.

“Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace” (Psalm 37:37 NIV).

Thanks to Ann Knowles for the suggestion. Image by Davie Bicker from Pixabay.

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Go Off the Deep End

November 14, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 11 comments

As children, my sister, brother, and I loved to go off the deep end of a swimming pool. We wanted to see what was under the water. Usually, we found nothing but the bottom of the pool.

In contrast, a dive into the depths of rivers or oceans reveals a new world. We find ourselves surrounded by:

Fish
Rocks
Plants
Other natural wonders

However, a word to the wise: Learn to swim before jumping into deep water.

To go off the deep end means to act crazy.

What we do makes no sense. Our behavior may result from feeling:

Upset
Angry
Excited
Grieved
Lovesick

We go overboard.

When we go off the deep end, we let our emotions take control.

Like a person who can’t swim but jumps into deep water, we fail to use reason. We overreact. We:

Speak before we think
Hurt others or ourselves
Act before we get the facts
Withdraw from sources of help
Move too fast in a relationship

God gave us emotions, but God also gave us brains. Let’s use our heads for more than hat racks.

“Leave behind your foolishness and begin to live; learn how to be wise” (Proverbs 9:6 TLB).

Thanks to Janna Babak for the suggestion.

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Turn the Tables

November 7, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 9 comments

I never played much chess. However, I played checkers with my dad and sister for years. When I was losing, I hoped to turn the tables. I wanted to win.

I never physically turned the tables to play from the opposite side. However, I tried to change the outcome of the game.

When we turn the tables, we reverse a situation.

It becomes the opposite of what it was. We see such major changes in:

Board games, like chess or checkers
Sports events
Job positions
Any competition

This expression also applies to major changes in plans.

Usually, the change helps the person who had an earlier disadvantage. Roles reverse. The shoe is on the other foot.

How did this expression begin?

According to The Free Dictionary, “Until the mid-18^th century, tables was the usual name for the board game backgammon. Early instances of the use of this phrase, dating from the mid-17^th century, made it clear that it comes from the practice of turning the board so that a player had to play what had previously been their opponent’s position.”

We find examples of turned tables throughout history.

The Bible tells the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him and sold him into slavery. Eventually, Joseph achieved an important leadership position. When famine struck, Joseph’s brothers went to him for grain. They did not recognize him. After Joseph identified himself, his brothers feared for their lives.

Yet, Joseph did not act high and mighty when their roles changed. Instead, he forgave his brothers and provided for them.

Like Joseph, we have an opportunity to help others when the tables turn our way.

^“‘But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50:20-21 NIV).

Thanks to Debbie Tapscott and Beckham Wilson for the suggestion. Image by Waldemar Bajda from Pixabay.

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Play Possum

October 3, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

Many of us tried to play possum when we were children. We wanted to stay in bed when our parents said to get up. We kept our eyes closed and remained as still as possible.

We often display similar behaviors as adults. Some days we simply don’t want to rise and shine.

When opossums (or possums) feel threatened, they pretend to be dead.

They try to avoid attack by lying still. Their goal is for the other animals to leave them alone. Apparently, that defense works well.

When faced with danger:

They don’t fight.
They don’t run.
They play dead.

To play possum means to pretend to be dead or asleep.

It may also mean to pretend not to know. We want to avoid a person or situation. We don’t want to:

Wake up
Get up
Work
Accept responsibility

Like the possum, we hope the threat to our rest loses interest and goes away.

The time comes to stop playing possum and get to work.

We need and enjoy rest and play. Yet, for the best life, we also put our hand to the plow and meet our responsibilities.

“How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?” (Proverbs 6:9 NIV).

Thanks to Carole Fite for the suggestion.

Image by daynaw3990 from Pixabay

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High Horse

September 12, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

None of us has any reason to get on a high horse. However, when life goes well, we face the temptation to act high and mighty.

To get on a high horse means to act superior.

Years ago, people of high rank rode tall horses. That custom became a symbol of superiority.

If we are on a high horse, we believe or act like we are better than others. That may mean higher:

Morals
Power
Finances
Position

However, the higher the horse, the farther the fall.

When we look down on other people, we lower ourselves. Our highfalutin ways end up hurting rather than helping. They also make other people respect us less, not more.

If we fail or fall from a high rank, the loss hurts worse.

We want confidence but not arrogance.

To be more effective, we need to get off our high horse and work with one another.

As we learn and grow together, we become better people. Rather than look down on others, we want to lift them up.

We travel this journey of life together. Why not unite and achieve more?

That makes good horse sense. Don’t you agree?

“Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor” (Proverbs 29:23 NIV).

Thanks to Pat Childress Conner Stapp for the suggestion and to Chelsey Stone for the photo.

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