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At Loggerheads

At Loggerheads

At Loggerheads--loggerhead turtle on sandAt loggerheads has nothing to do with loggerhead turtles. Although we might enjoy finding the so-ugly-they-are-cute turtles, they give no insight into the idiom. Unless they fight.

At loggerheads means in conflict.

We disagree or argue and fail to resolve the problem. Probably one of the best-known examples of conflict between families is the Hatfield and McCoy feud.

Usually no one wins when at loggerheads.

As with the Hatfields and McCoys, strong disagreement often causes great suffering on both sides including violence or death.

In addition to families, quarrels or disputes occur among:

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Countries
  • Organizations

The Free Dictionary gives two possible origins for the expression.

  1. “A ‘logger’ is a 16th-century term for a block of wood, so a ‘loggerhead’ is a blockhead or fool.”
  2. Loggerhead is also a late 1600s term for “a long-handled iron poker with a bulb-shaped end that was heated in the fire and used to melt pitch.” This “may have been alluded to as a weapon.”

Rather than remain at loggerheads, let’s seek solutions.

  • Compromise when possible.
  • Agree with the other person when we realize we are wrong.
  • Stand firm when necessary.
  • Follow Jesus’ example of self-giving love.

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs” (Proverbs 10:12 NIV).

Thanks to Sarah Burns Hampshire for the suggestion. Photo by Amy Farías with Pexels.

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Heart-to-Heart

Heart-to-Heart

Heart to Heart--sunset silhouette of young girls forming heart with handsMost relationships benefit from occasional heart-to-heart talks. When we open our hearts to one another, we learn to appreciate each other more.

Heart-to-heart means open and honest.

It usually refers to conversations where we don’t hide our emotions. Such talks occur between:

  • Family members
  • Friends
  • Coworkers
  • Neighbors

Honest discussion helps us work through differences of opinion.

The outcome varies. We may:

  • Agree
  • Compromise
  • Agree to disagree

Although such talks don’t always end the way we hope, they usually result in improvement.

Most heart-to-heart talks involve serious subjects.

We don’t just shoot the breeze. Through open discussion, we try to prevent or work through conflicts. Under ideal circumstances, our talks build on already strong relationships.

We celebrate Valentine’s Day with hearts of all kinds:

  • Candy
  • Cards
  • Cakes
  • Clothing

Why not also include heart-filled conversations? Resolve conflicts. Strengthen bonds. Love with both words and actions.

“I have a lot more things to tell you, but I’d rather not use paper and ink. I hope to be there soon in person and have a heart-to-heart talk. That will be far more satisfying to both you and me” (2 John 1:12-13 MSG).

Thanks to Glenda Britton for the suggestion. Image by u_uf78c121 from Pixabay.

Do you have an expression you want explained or a thought about this one? If so, please comment below.

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