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At Loggerheads

At Loggerheads

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At Loggerheads--loggerhead turtle on sandAt loggerheads has nothing to do with loggerhead turtles. Although we might enjoy finding the so-ugly-they-are-cute turtles, they give no insight into the idiom. Unless they fight.

At loggerheads means in conflict.

We disagree or argue and fail to resolve the problem. Probably one of the best-known examples of conflict between families is the Hatfield and McCoy feud.

Usually no one wins when at loggerheads.

As with the Hatfields and McCoys, strong disagreement often causes great suffering on both sides including violence or death.

In addition to families, quarrels or disputes occur among:

  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Countries
  • Organizations

The Free Dictionary gives two possible origins for the expression.

  1. “A ‘logger’ is a 16th-century term for a block of wood, so a ‘loggerhead’ is a blockhead or fool.”
  2. Loggerhead is also a late 1600s term for “a long-handled iron poker with a bulb-shaped end that was heated in the fire and used to melt pitch.” This “may have been alluded to as a weapon.”

Rather than remain at loggerheads, let’s seek solutions.

  • Compromise when possible.
  • Agree with the other person when we realize we are wrong.
  • Stand firm when necessary.
  • Follow Jesus’ example of self-giving love.

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs” (Proverbs 10:12 NIV).

Thanks to Sarah Burns Hampshire for the suggestion. Photo by Amy Farías with Pexels.

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Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right

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Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right--two doves above an extended handWhen people wrong us, our natural reaction is to get even. We want to hurt them, to give them a taste of their own medicine. However, two wrongs don’t make a right.

If we keep hurting one another, everyone loses. In a battle of revenge, no one wins. Instead, we cut off our nose to spite our face. We never resolve a conflict with more conflict.

Two wrongs don’t make a right means a second offense does not cancel the first one.

  • Insulting someone who insults us does not erase our pain.
  • Attacking someone who attacked us does not take away the injury.
  • Lying about a person who lied about us only means neither of us can be trusted.

When we harm others, we harm ourselves.

Getting even may release part of our stress. Yet, bad feelings continue. When revenge rises, let’s nip it in the bud. Get rid of it before it gets out of control.

Don’t nurse negative emotions.

Jesus offers a better way.

  • Love
  • Compassion
  • Grace
  • Forgiveness.

Jesus’ life on earth demonstrated the words He taught. As soldiers nailed Him to a cross, Jesus forgave them. He was dying for them.

None of us deserve Jesus’ salvation, but He offers it anyway. Only when we follow His example will be experience inner peace. Problems may continue. Others may cause trouble. Yet, we have peace because we know the Prince of Peace.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:43-44 NIV).

Thanks to Jason Smith for the suggestion. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

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Lock Horns

Lock Horns

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Lock Horns--Elk fightingIf you have seen elk or other animals lock horns, you know exactly what this expression means. Two animals fight one another. The fight often results in locked horns (or antlers).

A fight usually begins when the animals:

  • Face one another
  • Dig their feet in the dirt
  • Run toward each other
  • Hit their heads together

Two males often fight over a female.

If we lock horns with one another, we have conflict.

Our conflict may be:

  • Physical fights
  • Verbal arguments

Locking horns may also affect us:

  • Mentally
  • Emotionally
  • Spiritually

Conflict may arise over:

  • Money
  • Jobs
  • Relationships (romance, family, friends)
  • Silly disagreements

Sometimes we must lock horns.

We see wrongs that need to be made right. Our efforts may not be easy. Yet, we must figure out how to make necessary changes happen.

Usually, we want to avoid locking horns.

Much that we fight over is not worth the fight. We end up hurting others and ourselves. We get off on the wrong foot. Then we have to mend fences.

We can disagree without locking horns. That sounds like the better plan.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NIV).

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Talk Turkey

Talk Turkey

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Talk TurkeyWe talk turkey a lot during Thanksgiving.

We discuss:

  • Buying turkeys
  • Baking turkeys
  • Stuffing turkeys
  • Eating turkeys
  • What to do with leftover turkey

We talk turkey any time of year when we discuss a problem.

As we talk, we:

  • Get serious about the problem and try to solve it
  • Speak in clear language
  • Focus on what needs to be said

Many times we know something is wrong but do nothing about it. We ignore the problem and hope it goes away. Often it only gets worse the longer we wait. We become worry warts who get nothing done.

Talking turkey is not always easy.

Like a kitchen after a Thanksgiving meal, life gets messy. If we want to clean up our mess, we need to tackle it.

  • Talk about what is wrong.
  • Do what we can to make it right.

Talking turkey usually makes life better.

We don’t talk turkey to quarrel. We talk turkey to:

  • Solve our problems
  • Get business done
  • Get along better with one another.

“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18 NIV).

Do you have an expression you want explained or a thought about this one? If so, please comment below.

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Image courtesy of Pixabay.