disagree Archives - Diana Derringer

Butt Heads with Someone

August 26, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

When we butt heads with someone, we cause and receive pain. No fun.

Literally, to butt heads means to hit heads together.

We often see this when animals lock horns. They fight to determine who will lead their group.

Figuratively, to butt heads means to strongly disagree or have an intense argument.

This causes problems in any relationship:

Families
Friends
Neighbors
Political parties
Social organizations

The tactics in such arguments aim to hurt rather than heal.

Name calling
Disrespect
Physical or verbal fights

Rather than butt heads, we need to learn to get along.

We can disagree in an agreeable way. If we explain our differences in a calm, respectful manner, everyone wins. Two heads are better than one applies even when the two heads disagree.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1 NIV).

Thanks to Tracy Crump for the suggestion and to Megan Wollman for the photo.

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At Loggerheads

July 1, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

At loggerheads has nothing to do with loggerhead turtles. Although we might enjoy finding the so-ugly-they-are-cute turtles, they give no insight into the idiom. Unless they fight.

At loggerheads means in conflict.

We disagree or argue and fail to resolve the problem. Probably one of the best-known examples of conflict between families is the Hatfield and McCoy feud.

Usually no one wins when at loggerheads.

As with the Hatfields and McCoys, strong disagreement often causes great suffering on both sides including violence or death.

In addition to families, quarrels or disputes occur among:

Friends
Co-workers
Countries
Organizations

The Free Dictionary gives two possible origins for the expression.

“A ‘logger’ is a 16th-century term for a block of wood, so a ‘loggerhead’ is a blockhead or fool.”
Loggerhead is also a late 1600s term for “a long-handled iron poker with a bulb-shaped end that was heated in the fire and used to melt pitch.” This “may have been alluded to as a weapon.”

Rather than remain at loggerheads, let’s seek solutions.

Compromise when possible.
Agree with the other person when we realize we are wrong.
Stand firm when necessary.
Follow Jesus’ example of self-giving love.

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs” (Proverbs 10:12 NIV).

Thanks to Sarah Burns Hampshire for the suggestion. Photo by Amy Farías with Pexels.

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Put to Bed

May 8, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

Following baths, brushed teeth, prayers, and other routines, children are put to bed every night.

Some of us also put our pets to bed. This puppy receives lots of love and care from its owner. A hand-made cherry bed waits anytime puppy needs a nap. Not a typical dog’s life.

We understand the literal meaning of put to bed.

People and animals need sleep. Going to bed may be voluntary or it may be required. Sometimes it serves as punishment for bad behavior.

It also means to stop discussing or arguing about an issue.

Whether we agree or disagree, we drop the subject. We let sleeping dogs lie.

It often means to complete all or part of an activity.

Final preparation begins or is already finished.

It’s a common saying for newspapers and other printing and means no more edits. Papers or books are ready to print.

The most important decision to put to bed is our eternal destination.

We don’t want to leave our relationship with Jesus up in the air. At the end of the day, nothing matters more.

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4 NIV).

Thanks to J.D. Wininger for the suggestion and to Ina Ree Pickett for the photo.

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Mend Fences

October 3, 2016 Diana Derringer Comments 3 comments

I love fences.

I know some people say, “Don’t fence me in,” meaning they want their freedom. I like freedom too. Still, I enjoy the beauty of fences.

Fences give order.
They look neat.
Sometimes they provide safety.

However, we need to mend (repair) fences occasionally.

Fences break.
They need paint.
Animals damage them.
They start leaning the wrong way.
They get dirty.

If we don’t mend them, they won’t stay safe, neat, orderly, and beautiful.

Occasionally we need to mend fences in our relationships.

We disagree, argue, or fight.
We neglect one another.
Hard times hurt us.
We let others lead us the wrong way.
We betray one another.

We mend fences when we improve our relationships.

How do we do that? We learn to:

Disagree without arguing or fighting
Spend special time together
Refuse to follow bad examples
Support one another through hard times
Apologize when we do wrong

Of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If we take care of our relationships every day, we don’t have to spend so much time mending them. That seems a small price to pay for a safe, neat, orderly, beautiful relationship.

“Turn us back to You, O Lord, and we will be restored; Renew our days as of old” (Lamentations 5:21 NKJV).

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The Other Side of the Coin

June 20, 2016 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

I’m not always right.

I wish I were, but I’m not. Therefore, I need to look at life from other points of view. I need to consider ideas other than my own — the other side of the coin.

By looking at the other side of the coin, I give myself the opportunity to grow. I may learn I was wrong. If not, I strengthen my original belief. I gain from either of those possibilities.

We don’t have to agree with others to remain friends.

Rather, we learn to disagree agreeably. My husband and I share many of the same values and beliefs. We also disagree on several issues. We have learned to accept that reality. Occasionally we begin a sentence with, “I know you’re going to disagree with this, but …”

I wonder:

How many wars could have been prevented by looking at the other side’s opinions?
How many couples could have avoided divorce by focusing on one another’s feelings?
How many friendships could have been preserved by listening more than talking?

Not everything in life revolves around us and our outlook.

Let’s not be hardheaded. Rather, let’s check out the other side of the coin. In the process we:

Stretch our minds.
Enrich our resources,
Share one another’s burdens and joys, whether we agree or not.

When we look at the other side of the coin, we gain another viewpoint. We choose whether to accept or reject that viewpoint. Let’s use wisdom as we choose.

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance” (Proverbs 1:5 NIV).

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