Relationships Archives - Diana Derringer

Bite Someone’s Head Off

September 2, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

When we see a tiger or other wild animal open its mouth and hear it roar, we may fear it will bite someone’s head off. When we open our mouths while angry, other people may expect us to bite their heads off.

To bite someone’s head off means to react in anger.

We have a bad day, so we take it out on the people around us. They may have no idea why we react as we do, since they did nothing to provoke us.

Other times, people may irritate us with what we consider inappropriate behavior.

Either way, we act or react with:

Rage
Force
Impatience

A similar expression is to snap someone’s head off.

Both mean to scold or speak in a mean manner. If we are mad at the world, whoever comes our way suffers.

Our response to others matters.

Once we speak words, we can’t take them back. We can apologize, but the harm remains.

We all have bad days.

However, we decide whether we will do the best we can or make life miserable for everyone we encounter. Remember, we catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Will we spread:

Health or harm?
Love or hate?
Encouragement or despair?

Let’s not allow bad days to control us. Rather, let’s bite our tongues and treat others as we want to be treated.

“They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows. (Psalm 64:3 NIV).

Thanks to Katherine Pasour for the suggestion. Photo by shravan khare on Pexels.

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Butt Heads with Someone

August 26, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

When we butt heads with someone, we cause and receive pain. No fun.

Literally, to butt heads means to hit heads together.

We often see this when animals lock horns. They fight to determine who will lead their group.

Figuratively, to butt heads means to strongly disagree or have an intense argument.

This causes problems in any relationship:

Families
Friends
Neighbors
Political parties
Social organizations

The tactics in such arguments aim to hurt rather than heal.

Name calling
Disrespect
Physical or verbal fights

Rather than butt heads, we need to learn to get along.

We can disagree in an agreeable way. If we explain our differences in a calm, respectful manner, everyone wins. Two heads are better than one applies even when the two heads disagree.

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1 NIV).

Thanks to Tracy Crump for the suggestion and to Megan Wollman for the photo.

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You Got This

July 15, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 14 comments

If we want to encourage people who face difficult challenges, we might say, “You got this” or “You’ve got this.” We want them to know we understand their problems. Yet, we also believe they can overcome them.

You got this means we think people can manage their troubles.

We reassure them that they:

Can do it
Have no reason to fear
Can conquer their uncertainty

We believe in their ability to do what they need to do.

You got this offers hope.

We all feel hopeless from time to time. We get discouraged, ready to give up. Yet, a pep talk from a family member or friend can work wonders. It helps us keep on keeping on.

Our present troubles will not last forever.

Instead, we look for light at the end of the tunnel. In addition, if we have placed our faith in Jesus, we look forward to a home in heaven at the end of the road.

“Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 NIV).

Thanks to Rebecca Stafford for the suggestion.

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At Loggerheads

July 1, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

At loggerheads has nothing to do with loggerhead turtles. Although we might enjoy finding the so-ugly-they-are-cute turtles, they give no insight into the idiom. Unless they fight.

At loggerheads means in conflict.

We disagree or argue and fail to resolve the problem. Probably one of the best-known examples of conflict between families is the Hatfield and McCoy feud.

Usually no one wins when at loggerheads.

As with the Hatfields and McCoys, strong disagreement often causes great suffering on both sides including violence or death.

In addition to families, quarrels or disputes occur among:

Friends
Co-workers
Countries
Organizations

The Free Dictionary gives two possible origins for the expression.

“A ‘logger’ is a 16th-century term for a block of wood, so a ‘loggerhead’ is a blockhead or fool.”
Loggerhead is also a late 1600s term for “a long-handled iron poker with a bulb-shaped end that was heated in the fire and used to melt pitch.” This “may have been alluded to as a weapon.”

Rather than remain at loggerheads, let’s seek solutions.

Compromise when possible.
Agree with the other person when we realize we are wrong.
Stand firm when necessary.
Follow Jesus’ example of self-giving love.

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs” (Proverbs 10:12 NIV).

Thanks to Sarah Burns Hampshire for the suggestion. Photo by Amy Farías with Pexels.

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On the Same Page

June 24, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

When we read a book together, we want to be on the same page. To read the same words and see the same pictures gives us mutual understanding.

On the same page means we agree.

We share the same:

Viewpoint or opinion
Attitude
Goals
Perception

By staying on the same page, we avoid confusion.

We begin and proceed with a similar mindset. As a result, we achieve far more than if our plans or ideas clash.

This remains true whatever we do.

Work
Sports
Academics
Investments

However, we want to stay on the same page for the right reasons.

Will our choices:

Honor God?
Serve the needs of others?
Challenge us to be the best we can be?

For the best life, go by the best book, the Bible. In it we learn the source of true joy and the challenge to share that joy with others..

“Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind” (Philippians 2:2 NIV).

This idea came from a post by Amy Walsh with Wisdom, Whimsy, and Wordsmithing. Thanks to Tracy Crump for the photo.

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Pickin’ and Grinnin’

June 17, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

My dad and a few friends often gathered in our kitchen on Friday or Saturday nights for pickin’ and grinnin’. Instruments included guitars, banjo, fiddle, and an occasional mandolin. They made music with laughter as well as instruments.

Pickin’ and grinnin’ refers to playing musical instruments while having a good time.

Instruments usually have strings such as guitar or banjo. Musicians may not play the best, but they play with enthusiasm. Favorite songs fill the air.

The 1969-1997 television show, Hee Haw, made pickin’ and grinnin’ a more common expression.

Hosts Buck Owens and Roy Clark frequently said it. All the performers looked and sounded happy as a lark.

The dulcimer makes me grin.

Jean Ritchie is one of the best-known dulcimer musicians. She has traveled the world playing and singing Appalachian music.

My dad and I shared an appreciation for the dulcimer. We made the one in the photo above. (Actually, he did the work while I did whatever he told me to do.) He made and gifted several others.

Music makes our world a better place. Enjoy and share!

“Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:19 NIV).

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No Bigger than a Minute

January 29, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 21 comments

Some expressions suit us to a T. This one describes me. All my life, I have been the smallest or one of the smallest in most settings.

Smallest person in my family
One of the smallest in my classes at school
Smallest in my office
Usually smallest in sports

You get the picture. Here I stand with my then 15-year-old nephew. The gentle giant with the shrimp of the family.

What makes this picture more fun: He was born tiny and premature. I was a big full-term baby.

No bigger than a minute means very small.

The expression often refers to a person who looks:

Tiny
Skinny
Frail
Hungry

This can also refer to animals or objects.

Abandoned baby animals look frail and hungry. In addition to food, they need tender loving care.

This expression has a few variations.

Although poor grammar, the following are common.

Weren’t no bigger than a minute
Ain’t bigger than a minute

Anyone or anything no bigger than a minute can make a big difference.

Regardless of our size (or any other characteristic), God can use us to make the world a better place. Let’s work together — gentle giants, shrimps, and everyone in between — to spread God’s love with a hurting world.

“He will bless those who fear the Lord—small and great alike” (Psalm 115:13 NIV).

Thanks to Ann Klotz for the suggestion.

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Misery Loves Company

January 15, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 12 comments

When we feel bad, knowing other people share our feelings encourages us. Misery loves company.

To have friends or family tell us they have experienced our troubles helps us feel better. If they go through their problems the same time as ours, we support one another.

Misery loves company means we hate to suffer alone.

Mutual pain makes our pain easier to bear.

Misery loves company sometimes comes from a mean motive.

If we hurt, we want others to hurt.
If we feel down in the dumps, we want everyone down in the dumps too.
If we fail, we want the world to fail.

We think everyone should feel as bad as we do.

Other times, our motives remain pure.

We don’t want others to suffer. Yet, it helps to know we are not alone. Having someone who understands from experience makes a big difference. We:

Trust them
Feel comfortable with them
Cry with them
Laugh with them
Pray for better days ahead

Friends help friends in good times and bad.

In all life’s ups and downs, we remain there for one another. I appreciate the prayers and love so many of you have expressed in recent years.

“It was good of you to share in my troubles” (Philippians 4:14 NIV).

Thanks to Janna Babak for the suggestion.

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Bridge the Gap

December 18, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

On a mission trip several years ago, a subway recording told us to mind the gap. That warning to watch our step prevented accidents. More important than minding the gap, our team wanted to bridge the gap.

To bridge the gap means to serve as a bridge.

We connect two:

Points
People
Groups of people

We bridge the gap when we build physical bridges.

Many of us love old swinging bridges. However, most bridges today are stronger, safer, and not as scary. All bridges make it easier to get from one place to another.

We also build relationship bridges.

Two people or groups of people may disagree or misunderstand one another. To bridge the gap, we unite them. Gaps occur in:

Beliefs
Languages
Goals

To bridge the gap relieves a problem.

If we:

Need money, we request a loan.
Feel overwhelmed, we seek support.
Require help, we ask for assistance.

Jesus bridges the gap between God and people.

That was the message our mission team shared.

Our sins or wrongdoings separate us from the one and only holy God. Jesus came to earth to pay the price for our sins. He:

Lived a sinless life.
Died on a cross to pay the price for our sins.
Rose from the dead on the third day, defeating sin and death.

Jesus solved our sin problem. When we turn from our wrongs and give control of our lives to Jesus, we cross the bridge from death to eternal life.

As we celebrate Christmas, may we never forget the reason Jesus came.

“Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24).

Thanks to Beckham Wilson for the suggestion.

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Tongue Lashing

December 11, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

One time when I disobeyed my dad, he caught me red-handed. However, he did not get home to discuss my misdeed until late. I worried all day that I was in hot water. I dreaded the tongue lashing to come.

Dad never said anything. I think he knew I had suffered enough.

Tongue lashings hurt. A lot.

Just ask any of us who have received one. Most people I know prefer almost any other form of correction.

Corporal punishment is seldom used anymore. Yet, we often hear people say they would rather have a spanking than a tongue lashing.

A tongue lashing means a scolding.

Sometimes severe and lengthy, the speaker lectures the other person (or animal). Words may include:

Criticism
Anger
Disappointment

Disappointment is often harder to hear than anger or criticism.

If we have a close relationship with the speaker, we don’t want to let him down. That was the case with my dad.

Tongue lashings can be for our good, or they can be cruel.

Either is hard to take. However, if we know the person desires the best for us, we gain from what he says.

May we speak strong words when needed. May we always speak from a heart of love.

Thanks to Marita Smeathers Mantooth for the suggestion and to Bethany Ferr with Pexels for the photo.

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