Relationships Archives - Diana Derringer

On the Same Page

June 24, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

When we read a book together, we want to be on the same page. To read the same words and see the same pictures gives us mutual understanding.

On the same page means we agree.

We share the same:

Viewpoint or opinion
Attitude
Goals
Perception

By staying on the same page, we avoid confusion.

We begin and proceed with a similar mindset. As a result, we achieve far more than if our plans or ideas clash.

This remains true whatever we do.

Work
Sports
Academics
Investments

However, we want to stay on the same page for the right reasons.

Will our choices:

Honor God?
Serve the needs of others?
Challenge us to be the best we can be?

For the best life, go by the best book, the Bible. In it we learn the source of true joy and the challenge to share that joy with others..

“Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind” (Philippians 2:2 NIV).

This idea came from a post by Amy Walsh with Wisdom, Whimsy, and Wordsmithing. Thanks to Tracy Crump for the photo.

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My dad and a few friends often gathered in our kitchen on Friday or Saturday nights for pickin’ and grinnin’. Instruments included guitars, banjo, fiddle, and an occasional mandolin. They made music with laughter as well as instruments.

Pickin’ and grinnin’ refers to playing musical instruments while having a good time.

Instruments usually have strings such as guitar or banjo. Musicians may not play the best, but they play with enthusiasm. Favorite songs fill the air.

The 1969-1997 television show, Hee Haw, made pickin’ and grinnin’ a more common expression.

Hosts Buck Owens and Roy Clark frequently said it. All the performers looked and sounded happy as a lark.

The dulcimer makes me grin.

Jean Ritchie is one of the best-known dulcimer musicians. She has traveled the world playing and singing Appalachian music.

My dad and I shared an appreciation for the dulcimer. We made the one in the photo above. (Actually, he did the work while I did whatever he told me to do.) He made and gifted several others.

Music makes our world a better place. Enjoy and share!

“Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:19 NIV).

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No Bigger than a Minute

January 29, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 16 comments

Some expressions suit us to a T. This one describes me. All my life, I have been the smallest or one of the smallest in most settings.

Smallest person in my family
One of the smallest in my classes at school
Smallest in my office
Usually smallest in sports

You get the picture. Here I stand with my then 15-year-old nephew. The gentle giant with the shrimp of the family.

What makes this picture more fun: He was born tiny and premature. I was a big full-term baby.

No bigger than a minute means very small.

The expression often refers to a person who looks:

Tiny
Skinny
Frail
Hungry

This can also refer to animals or objects.

Abandoned baby animals look frail and hungry. In addition to food, they need tender loving care.

This expression has a few variations.

Although poor grammar, the following are common.

Weren’t no bigger than a minute
Ain’t bigger than a minute

Anyone or anything no bigger than a minute can make a big difference.

Regardless of our size (or any other characteristic), God can use us to make the world a better place. Let’s work together — gentle giants, shrimps, and everyone in between — to spread God’s love with a hurting world.

“He will bless those who fear the Lord—small and great alike” (Psalm 115:13 NIV).

Thanks to Ann Klotz for the suggestion.

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Misery Loves Company

January 15, 2024 Diana Derringer Comments 12 comments

When we feel bad, knowing other people share our feelings encourages us. Misery loves company.

To have friends or family tell us they have experienced our troubles helps us feel better. If they go through their problems the same time as ours, we support one another.

Misery loves company means we hate to suffer alone.

Mutual pain makes our pain easier to bear.

Misery loves company sometimes comes from a mean motive.

If we hurt, we want others to hurt.
If we feel down in the dumps, we want everyone down in the dumps too.
If we fail, we want the world to fail.

We think everyone should feel as bad as we do.

Other times, our motives remain pure.

We don’t want others to suffer. Yet, it helps to know we are not alone. Having someone who understands from experience makes a big difference. We:

Trust them
Feel comfortable with them
Cry with them
Laugh with them
Pray for better days ahead

Friends help friends in good times and bad.

In all life’s ups and downs, we remain there for one another. I appreciate the prayers and love so many of you have expressed in recent years.

“It was good of you to share in my troubles” (Philippians 4:14 NIV).

Thanks to Janna Babak for the suggestion.

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Bridge the Gap

December 18, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

On a mission trip several years ago, a subway recording told us to mind the gap. That warning to watch our step prevented accidents. More important than minding the gap, our team wanted to bridge the gap.

To bridge the gap means to serve as a bridge.

We connect two:

Points
People
Groups of people

We bridge the gap when we build physical bridges.

Many of us love old swinging bridges. However, most bridges today are stronger, safer, and not as scary. All bridges make it easier to get from one place to another.

We also build relationship bridges.

Two people or groups of people may disagree or misunderstand one another. To bridge the gap, we unite them. Gaps occur in:

Beliefs
Languages
Goals

To bridge the gap relieves a problem.

If we:

Need money, we request a loan.
Feel overwhelmed, we seek support.
Require help, we ask for assistance.

Jesus bridges the gap between God and people.

That was the message our mission team shared.

Our sins or wrongdoings separate us from the one and only holy God. Jesus came to earth to pay the price for our sins. He:

Lived a sinless life.
Died on a cross to pay the price for our sins.
Rose from the dead on the third day, defeating sin and death.

Jesus solved our sin problem. When we turn from our wrongs and give control of our lives to Jesus, we cross the bridge from death to eternal life.

As we celebrate Christmas, may we never forget the reason Jesus came.

“Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24).

Thanks to Beckham Wilson for the suggestion.

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Tongue Lashing

December 11, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

One time when I disobeyed my dad, he caught me red-handed. However, he did not get home to discuss my misdeed until late. I worried all day that I was in hot water. I dreaded the tongue lashing to come.

Dad never said anything. I think he knew I had suffered enough.

Tongue lashings hurt. A lot.

Just ask any of us who have received one. Most people I know prefer almost any other form of correction.

Corporal punishment is seldom used anymore. Yet, we often hear people say they would rather have a spanking than a tongue lashing.

A tongue lashing means a scolding.

Sometimes severe and lengthy, the speaker lectures the other person (or animal). Words may include:

Criticism
Anger
Disappointment

Disappointment is often harder to hear than anger or criticism.

If we have a close relationship with the speaker, we don’t want to let him down. That was the case with my dad.

Tongue lashings can be for our good, or they can be cruel.

Either is hard to take. However, if we know the person desires the best for us, we gain from what he says.

May we speak strong words when needed. May we always speak from a heart of love.

Thanks to Marita Smeathers Mantooth for the suggestion and to Bethany Ferr with Pexels for the photo.

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Read Between the Lines

December 4, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 9 comments

“I’m not angry!” she yells as she clenches her fists and stomps away! If we read between the lines, we hear the message of her behavior rather than her words.

To read between the lines means to find the true message.

We understand what was not said or written — what a person really means. Hidden feelings or thoughts become clear.

This can also happen when anyone hems and haws, trying to avoid giving an answer.

Read between the lines comes from cryptography.

Secret writing hides true messages between the lines of text. The Free Dictionary’s explanations include:

“In one code, reading every second line of a message gives a different meaning from that of the entire text.”
In another method, people “write the secret information in invisible ink between the lines of a document.”

Honesty with self and others makes life easier.

When we try to fool anyone, no one wins. Better to say and do what we mean, to remain on the up and up. The Apostle Paul left his readers a good example.

“My letters have been straightforward and sincere; nothing is written between the lines!” (2 Corinthians 1:13 TLB).

Thanks to Amy Walsh for the idea from a recent social media post.

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Give It a Rest

November 13, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 14 comments

Sometimes we want people to give it a rest. Their constant talk or actions get on our nerves. Of course, we probably get on their nerves from time to time too.

When we tell people to give it a rest, we want them to stop irritating talk or actions.

Their annoying talk may include:

Fussing
Nagging
Begging

Their words sound like a broken record.

Actions may include:

Constant interruptions
Loud videos
Rude behavior

They ruffle our feathers.

To tell others to give it a rest can sound impolite.

It is simply another way to tell them to shut up or stop it.

An alternative is to get away from the irritating people.

Take a walk.
Work outside.
Sit beside a calm stream.

Moments alone remind us that silence is golden. We rest and refresh our minds and bodies.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters” (Psalm 23:2 NIV).

Thanks to J.D. Wininger for the suggestion.

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Break a Leg

November 6, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 11 comments

No one wants to break a leg or any other body part. Just ask our worship pastor. He has spent months in pain from a broken foot. His injuries have required surgeries, casts, boots, and a wheelchair. He has also endured a walker, cane, crutches, and numerous therapy sessions.

With that in mind, why do people tell others to break a leg? The expression sounds cruel.

Break a leg means to wish people good luck.

It offers encouragement, especially to performers on opening night. The speaker hopes the actors bring down the house.

Some believe wishing actors good luck causes bad luck. Therefore, they say the opposite of what they mean. The Phrase Finder offers several possible origins for this superstition.

Although they understand the idiom, some people choose not to use it.

Not everyone understands the meaning, so it could result in hurt feelings. However, others use the expression as a fun tradition. If necessary, they explain what they mean.

Prayer offers a better alternative.

Whether a person says to break a leg or not, prayer remains the greatest gift. Prayer does not rely on superstition. It also removes the need for worry. As my friend Marian Woosley often said, “Why worry when we can pray?” True for actors. True for everyone.

Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony” (Psalm 6:2 NIV).

Thanks to Candyce Carden for the suggestion and to Katherine Bonds for the photo.

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Tight as Bark on a Tree

October 30, 2023 Diana Derringer Comments 10 comments

We don’t want to overspend, and we do want to save. Yet, we rarely want to be called tight as bark on a tree.

Tight as bark on a tree means extremely careful with money.

Other descriptions include:

Stingy
Penny-pinching
Frugal
Tightfisted

In areas with Blackjack oak trees, we frequently hear “as tight as bark on a blackjack.”

If we are tight spenders, we buy only when absolutely necessary.

Money never burns a hole in our pockets. Instead, we lock our pockets and throw away the key! We make do with what we have in order to save.

Although we should save, we don’t want to go overboard.

Money is a means to an end, not the end itself. We use it to meet our needs and the needs of others both now and in the future.

When tempted to remain tight as bark on a tree, let’s remember:

We can’t take it with us.
We can invest in what holds lasting value.

Definitely save for a rainy day. At the same time, spend money and all of life as God leads today.

“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want” (Proverbs 11:24 ESV).

Thanks to Billie Sue Kibbons and Lynn Kibbons Collins for the suggestion they recalled from Granny Rosa Fay Scott who lived near an area known as Black Jack, Missouri. Photo by Marta Wave on Pexels.

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