Relationships Archives - Diana Derringer

Don’t Steal My Joy

July 27, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

I love to make people happy, don’t you? Occasionally someone says an action or gift is too much. My frequent response: “Don’t steal my joy.”

Don’t steal my joy tells people to allow us to do something special for them.

If they love our gifts, it fills us with joy. We delight in helping them or offering acts of kindness.

We don’t want them to say it is too much. Or that we should not do it. We want them to accept it and enjoy it as much as we enjoy sharing.

Neither should we steal anyone else’s joy.

I almost did that recently. A friend brought thoughtful gifts for my husband. They would make his life and mine much easier. When I wanted to pay for them, she responded with a smile, “Don’t steal my joy.” She had heard me say that and enjoyed the opportunity to say it back to me.

No one can steal the joy we find in Jesus.

Jesus offers us the gift of forgiveness, a future home in heaven, and joy whatever our present circumstances.

People may mistreat us. Troubles may surround us. Life may throw us for a loop, and our emotions may tumble. Nevertheless, Jesus fills us to the brim with everlasting joy. Nothing and no one can take that away.

“Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven” (Luke 6:23 NIV).

Thanks to Carol Edwards for the suggestion. Image by Christiane from Pixabay.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

The Apple Does Not Fall Far from the Tree

May 18, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

The apple does not fall far from the tree in orchards. The same is often true for children.

When children act like their parents, we might say the apple does not fall far from the tree.

We all learn from the people closest to us.

Parents
Guardians
Other relatives

They teach us how to:

Walk
Talk
Live

One of the scariest statements a child can make is, “When I grow up, I want to be just like you.” That should make us pay attention to our words, actions, and attitudes.

The apple does not fall from the tree does not always apply.

Children do not always look or act like their parents. Sometimes that is the children’s choice. They may:

Rebel against positive examples.
Rise above negative examples.

We cannot change our biological roots. We can change our behavior.

May we all learn and live well.

No one, including the best parent, is perfect. Therefore, we want to follow the one and only perfect example we find in Jesus.

When we root ourselves in Jesus’ love, we gain the best life now plus an eternity with Him in heaven. We also bear fruit by sharing Jesus’ love with the rest of the world.

“This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:8 NIV).

Thanks to Thad Reames for the suggestion. Image by Manfred Richter from Pixabay.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Split Hairs

May 11, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

Do you remember sky-high teased hairstyles? Or have you seen pictures of them? Can you imagine all the split hairs that caused? Worse damage occurs when we split hairs with our words.

When we split hairs, we fight about minor details that make no major difference.

We focus on the petty or unimportant.

This metaphor “was first recorded in the late 17th century,” according to The Free Dictionary.

Most of us have split a few hairs.

Yet why let anything that is neither here nor there steal our attention? No need to stress. No need to waste that time. If it will not matter six months from now, let it go.

Let’s focus on the worthy.

Do what needs to be done.
Forget what makes little or no difference.
Never let trivial matters get our goat.

A single hair should not overtake the rest of our body. Neither should one small detail overtake our minds, emotions, or relationships.

“Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen” (2 Timothy 2:14 NIV).

Thanks to Tracy Crump for the suggestion and to Misty Durham for the photo.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Skinned Alive

April 6, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

Have you ever been skinned alive? It is no fun, is it? We may not lose skin, but it hurts like we have.

To be skinned alive means to be severely scolded or punished.

Many of us think scolding hurts the most.

People of all ages receive threats to be skinned alive.

Children who break their parents’ rules
Employees who fail to do their work
Friends or family who break promises

This phrase comes from the cruel “practice of flaying a live prisoner.”

The Free Dictionary dates it to the mid-1800s.

The threat to skin alive often comes with the strength and power to hurt others.

However, we never want to harm anyone.

Encouraging people to straighten up and fly right is okay. Blowing our top is not.

When people threaten to skin us alive, we want to make necessary changes.

However, if we have done nothing wrong, we may need to say so. Regardless of how they treat us, we want to treat them with respect. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2 NIV).

Thanks to Kristy Robinson Horine for the suggestion. Image by Sammy-Sander from Pixabay.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Lie Like a Rug

March 30, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

My dad loved to play with words. He would deliberately use the wrong word to give a sentence a totally new meaning. I’m sure some people thought he did not know better. However, he knew exactly what he was doing. Lie like a rug was one of his favorite expressions.

Lie like a rug is a pun, a usually funny play on words.

Puns use words that are alike or nearly alike but have different meanings. “Lie” can mean either to tell an untruth or to rest in a flat position. Lie like a rug combines those two meanings since a rug lies flat on a floor.

If we lie like a rug, we lie boldly and shamelessly.

Our untruth is no mistake. We deliberately lie. Sometimes we know that no one will believe us but lie anyway.

If we repeat an untruth often enough, we may persuade some people to believe.

We sound ridiculous. Yet repetition eventually convinces those unwilling to look at the evidence. If not convinced, they may choose not to confront us or face the truth.

Always weigh the evidence.

Take what sounds like a lie with a grain of salt. Search for truth and follow it.

“Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God” (John 3:21 NIV).

Thanks to Melissa Henderson for the suggestion. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Carry Someone Somewhere

March 23, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

I still remember a college professor saying he had to carry someone somewhere. His statement puzzled me. I knew he could not carry the grown man on his back. Instead, he meant he had to transport the man in his car.

To carry someone somewhere means to take the person somewhere.

Like my college professor, we may take others to:

Appointments
Church
Family gatherings
Wherever they need to go

When the need arises, we don’t hem and haw. We do what needs to be done. That kind of carrying takes time but is easier on our backs.

To carry someone somewhere also means to accompany the person.

Whether we provide transportation or not, people do not have to go alone. We escort them for:

Safety precautions
Fun times
Dates

The key to both meanings is to be there.

At times, we meet needs. Other times, we simply enjoy one another’s company. Either way, we share friendship and fellowship.

“Then Esau said, ‘Let us be on our way; I’ll accompany you.’” (Genesis 33:12 NIV).

Thanks to Joyce Cordell for the suggestion and to Crystal Gosser for the photo.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Chew the Fat

March 16, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

Our family loves to meet and eat. Thanksgiving, Christmas, special birthdays, or for no reason at all. We also love to chew the fat, spending hours talking and laughing.

To chew the fat means to have long, relaxed conversations.

No rush
Easy laughter
No schedule

We enjoy leisure from the daily grind.

To chew the fat involves little or no heavy discussion.

We simply shoot the breeze. Chats stay:

Friendly
Relaxed
Informal

Conversations may occasionally include bits of gossip. When tempted to gossip, we need to bite our tongue.

Two other expressions share similar meanings.

Chew the rag
Chew the cud

Origins for chew the fat and chew the rug are unknown. People have guessed possibilities but with no certainty. We find a simpler explanation for chew the cud.

According to Phrase Finder, a cud is the food cows “bring back into their mouths from their first stomach to chew at leisure.” We see that slow chewing while cows graze in pastures.

Enjoy special time to chew the fat with friends and family.

Make memories and strengthen relationships. They are gifts from God.

“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers” (Ephesians 1:16 NIV).

Thanks to Gail Gosser and Regina Graham for the suggestion.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Cold Shoulder

March 2, 2026 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

Has anyone given you the cold shoulder? It’s no fun, is it?

To receive a cold shoulder means people ignore or reject you.

They:

Snub you.
Pay no attention to you.
Turn away from you.

Rejection is depressing.

A cold shoulder is not accidental. Those who snub you have no interest in contact with you.

The origin of cold shoulder probably differs from widespread belief.

According to The Phrase Finder and The Free Dictionary, many people believe this expression began with a nineteenth century custom.

Hosts served a meal of roasted meat to welcomed guests.
They served a cold shoulder of meat to guests who outstayed their welcome.

The Phrase Finder says, “There’s no evidence to support this view.” It adds, “The first reference to the phrase in print is in Sir Walter Scott’s ‘The Antiquary,’ 1816.”

Rather than an unfriendly cold shoulder, show love and concern for others.

Choose not to act high and mighty or too big for your britches.
Refuse to let other people’s behavior dictate yours.
Act with kindness regardless of what they do.

“If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear” (1 John 3:17 MSG).

Thanks to Kay Emerick for the suggestion. Image by Eszter Miller from Pixabay.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Scapegoat

November 10, 2025 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

Have you ever been a scapegoat? Something bad happened. It was not your fault, but you received the blame. Or have you ever scapegoated someone else?

A scapegoat receives all the blame or punishment for the wrongs of others.

The person may be innocent or only partially at fault. However, they receive total blame.

Family members accuse a relative for all their problems.
Company leaders condemn an employee for the company’s losses.
Team members blame one player for their team’s defeat.

We don’t like to be accused when innocent.

Neither do other people.

We find the background for a scapegoat in the Bible.

God gave Moses directions for the Day of Atonement. Aaron, Israel’s first high priest, took two male goats for a sin offering. One goat was sacrificed. The other (the scapegoat) had the sins of the people symbolically placed on it. It was then driven into the wilderness.

Rather than condemn others unfairly, let’s:

Take responsibility for our own actions.
Encourage one another to make wise choices.
Forgive the mistakes of others and ask forgiveness for ours.

Let’s not hang one another out to dry. Instead, let’s treat others like we want to be treated.

“He is to lay both hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites—all their sins—and put them on the goat’s head. He shall send the goat away into the wilderness in the care of someone appointed for the task. (Leviticus 16:21 NIV).

Thanks to Karen Atwood for the suggestion and to Lori Carmicle for the photo.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Upper Hand

September 29, 2025 Diana Derringer Comments 10 comments

Before we played ball during recess in elementary school, one player tossed the bat to another. Those two players alternated hands on the bat until they reached the top. The person with the upper hand had first choice for team players.

Upper hand means a higher or better position.

We hold an advantage over another person or situation.

The position includes more:

Power
Control
Benefits

We find people with an upper hand in most of life.

Sports
Business
Games
Education
Families

Those people may be obvious right off the bat. Other times, we remain in the dark about who holds the most power.

An upper hand does not equal a superior person.

We are not:

What we do
Where we work
Who we know

To be the best we can be, we:

Love God.
Love one another.
Live as God created us to live.
Look for ways to serve rather than be served.

“The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (Matthew 23:11-12 NIV).

Thanks to J.D. Wininger for the suggestion and to Karen Atwood for the photo.

Do you have an expression you want explained or thoughts about this one? If so, please comment below.

Subscribe to receive my weekly posts by email and receive a free copy of “Words of Hope for Days that Hurt.”

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.