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Category: Relationships

Spill the Beans

Spill the Beans

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Spill the Beans--glass jar with lid off and beans spilling outMost of us know people who cannot keep a secret. They always find a way to spill the beans.

Although they act surprised after they tell what they know, they never fail to share it. Then, they ask us not to tell anyone else.

The origin of this expression is uncertain.

One possible explanation comes from an ancient voting practice of placing different colored beans in pots or jars. No one was supposed to spill the beans until the proper time.

People may spill the beans on purpose.

Telling private information can cause great harm. Words often hurt.

People may also spill the beans by mistake.

Although they don’t intend to reveal the information, it can still hurt.

Not all secrets hurt when told.

Examples include:

  • Plans for a surprise party
  • The contents of a gift
  • Whether an unborn baby is a boy or girl

Some secrets should be told.

  • Abuse
  • Crimes
  • Evil plans

Busybodies need to bite their tongues. However, everyone needs to speak up to right wrongs.

“Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief” (Proverbs 21:23 MSG).

 Thanks to Regina Graham for the suggestion.

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Deer in the Headlights

Deer in the Headlights

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Deer in the Headlights-deer on a foggy road In our garden spot of the world, we have to watch for deer in the headlights. We have several trees on one side of the road and farm fields on the other. Although beautiful and fun to watch, deer cause many accidents.

Deer in the headlights freeze in the middle of the road.

Both cars and the people in them suffer damage if they fail to stop in time. Therefore, we drive slower in certain areas.

If we act like deer in the headlights, we also freeze in place.

Causes include:

  • Fear
  • Surprise
  • Confusion
  • Strong emotions

We might:

  • Get caught red-handed
  • Experience unexpected and overwhelming responsibilities
  • Face decisions with no easy answers
  • Receive news of a birth, marriage, death, or other major family event

Although we freeze at times, unsure what to do, we don’t have to face the future alone.

God offers guidance and hope, whatever our situation.

“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord” (Psalm 31:24 NIV).

Thanks to Carole Fite for the suggestion. Image by enriquelopezgarre from Pixabay

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Salt in a Wound

Salt in a Wound

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Salt in a Wound -container of saltYears ago, people treated many medical emergencies at home. One common remedy was to pour or rub salt in a wound. That solution often caused more pain than the original problem.

Salt in a wound hurts.

 Although salt (or saltwater) helps heal or sooth certain conditions, it causes damage to others. Even if it helps, salt on an open sore stings.

To pour or rub salt in a wound means to make a bad situation worse.

 Our words or actions hurt rather than help.

  • A friend loses a contest, and we praise the winner.
  • Our neighbor’s boss fires him, and we brag about our promotion.
  • A relative’s wife leaves him, and we talk about her handsome boyfriend.

Whether deliberate or not, we increase the person’s hardship, shame, or sadness.

Rather than rub salt in a wound, let’s serve as salt of the earth.

 When other people feel down in the dumps, let’s lift them up. We have the privilege to share their sorrow as well as their joy.

“Being happy-go-lucky around a person whose heart is heavy is as bad as stealing his jacket in cold weather or rubbing salt in his wounds” (Proverbs 25:20 TLB).

Thanks to Pat Childress Conner Stapp for the suggestion. Image courtesy of  Pixabay.

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Stick Like Glue

Stick Like Glue

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Stick Like Glue-Dashaway between young couple on porchMy dog Dashaway was my favorite pet. She would stick like glue anytime I went outside.

Dashaway and I became best buddies while I was in high school. Snow kept everyone home for weeks. My parents and sister had the flu, so all the house and farm chores became my responsibility. A cousin down the road milked the cows, but Dashaway and I did the rest.

When I became tuckered out, too tired to move, Dashaway nudged me with her nose. That reminded me to keep on keeping on. She knew once work was over, we could play in the snow.

After I began dating, Dashaway still stuck like glue. If my boyfriend (now husband), and I walked outside, Dashaway walked between us. When we sat on the front porch steps, Dashaway stood or sat in the middle. She loved us, and we loved her.

To stick like glue means to stay close to someone.

For people or animals, that means we want to be together all the time. We hate to be away from one another.

Other meanings include hard-to-remove items that attach to us, such as:

  • Sticky food
  • Ink
  • Grass stain

This expression may be literal or figurative.

The above are literal examples. Figurative examples include our:

  • Reputation
  • Nickname
  • Memories

Dashaway earned her reputation as a good dog. She actually had six names, with Dashaway as first of the six. Memories of our time together stick like glue in my mind.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 NIV).

Thanks to Sharon Berry for the suggestion.

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Confession Is Good for the Soul

Confession Is Good for the Soul

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Confession Is Good for the Soul- mother kneels to comfort a crying child“Tell me the truth. You will feel better if you do. Confession is good for the soul.”

How many times have children heard those or similar words? They do something wrong and get caught red-handed. The more they try to hide their wrong, the worse they feel. If they don’t tell the truth, they get in more trouble.

Of course, the same relates to adults. Trying to hide our mistakes or deliberate evil only makes a bad situation worse. We feel guilty. Our guilt makes us sick, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Confession is good for the soul declares great truth.

When we confess, we free ourselves from:

  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Stress

We come clean. This applies whether we commit small or large misdeeds.

Confession is good for the soul pertains to all our relationships.

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Enemies
  • Strangers

The other person may or may not forgive us. We are not responsible for their reaction. However, we are responsible for our own.

We find this truth in the Bible.

The words vary, but the truth remains the same. Its greatest application is in our relationship with God.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NIV).

Thanks to Phyllis Patton for the suggestion and the photo.

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Small Potatoes

Small Potatoes

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Small Potatoes - freshly dug potatoes of different sizesWhen gardeners dig potatoes, they usually look for lots of large ones. Small potatoes often get thrown away.

Grocery shoppers and cooks also prefer large potatoes most of the time.

Anything small or unimportant may be described as small potatoes.

 Most people consider them of little worth. In the business world, they might include:

Unfortunately, people frequently receive the small potatoes label too.

  • Children or youth
  • Older adults
  • Poor
  • Unemployed
  • Homeless
  • Disabled
  • Anyone different

Others often treat them like they are a dime a dozen.

Yet, small potatoes offer great benefits.

Freshly dug tiny potatoes taste better than larger ones. Unpeeled and cooked with fresh green beans, those small, tender spuds delight the taste buds.

Likewise, small moments, small items, and people of all sizes and backgrounds offer much. A saltshaker on our kitchen counter reads, “Happiness is found in little things.”

Never underestimate the power of the pint-sized. They may not carry great wealth or social status. However, many offer happiness neither wealth nor social status can give.

The God of creation loves everyone — a great plan for all creation to follow.

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me’” (Matthew 25:40 NIV).

Thanks to Carla Purvis for the suggestion. Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

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Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face

Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face

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Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face--closeup of a white dog's noseWhen you try to harm others, you often end up harming yourself more. You cut off your nose to spite your face. This happens at any age.

  • Children run away from good homes because they don’t like the rules.
  • Athletes play less than their best when they get mad at their coaches.
  • Bosses fire their best workers because they are jealous of the workers’ skills.

To cut off your nose to spite your face means to hurt yourself when you try to hurt others.

Anger rather than wisdom rules your actions. You often bite the hand that feeds you.

Never let self-defeating behavior rule.

It may destroy others but will eventually destroy you. Nip it in the bud. If you get angry and must blow off steam, do it in a safe way where no one gets hurt.

“There is a time when a man lords it over others to his own hurt” (Ecclesiastes 8:9 NIV).

Thanks to Emily Akin for the suggestion. Image by Foto-Rabe from Pixabay.

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The Shoe Is on the Other Foot

The Shoe Is on the Other Foot

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The Shoe Is on the Other Foot--shoes on wrong feetIf we put the right shoe on the right foot, it feels fine. However, if we put it on the left foot, it hurts. We don’t like it when the shoe is on the other foot.

The shoe is on the other foot means circumstances are opposite what they were before.

We change roles.

  • Bosses becomes employees.
  • Teachers becomes students.
  • Bullies get bullied.

With roles reversed, troublemakers receive trouble.

If we held the power, we don’t like it when we become powerless. Like shoes on the wrong feet, the change hurts.

However, if we receive power, it usually feels good. We may be tempted to:

Whatever our role, we don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

If we hold the power, we never want to act high and mighty. Instead, let’s use our power in a helpful way. If others hold power over us, let’s give a good days work for a good day’s pay. In either role, let’s treat one another with respect.

“Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers.” (Proverbs 4:14 NIV).

Thanks to Debbie Tapscott for the suggestion and to Laura Mitchell Wilds with Mitchell’s Clothing for the photo.

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It Don’t Make Me No Never Mind

It Don’t Make Me No Never Mind

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It Don't Make Me No Never Mind-Neapolitan ice cream cake with berries on top “Do you prefer ice cream, cake, or both?” “I’m leaving now. Is that okay?” “Mind if I change the station on TV?”  For all these questions, we might answer, “It don’t make me no never mind.” Of course, we don’t give that answer if we prefer correct grammar.

Other ways to say “It don’t make me no never mind” include:

  • It does not matter to me.
  • I don’t care.
  • It does not bother me.
  • Makes no difference to me.

It don’t make me no never mind means either choice is okay.

We have no strong feelings about a decision. It is six of one and half a dozen of another.

Many choices in life don’t matter.

If they don’t matter, we usually don’t care. Although many probably disagree, the following matter little:

  • House size
  • Car model
  • Clothing style

What difference will those make years from now?

Other choices matter a great deal.

How we choose could mean the difference in life or death. We never want to:

  • Abuse another person
  • Lie, cheat, or steal
  • Neglect someone in need

The results could last for generations. Not everyone will like our actions. However, right choices mean we must occasionally make waves.

May we always choose well when our choices matter most.

“Be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left” (Deuteronomy 5:32).

I don’t know its origin, but I think of this as a southern expression. Have you heard it used other places?

Thanks to Timothy Lewis for the suggestion. Image by Bernhard Mülhens from Pixabay.

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Bite the Hand That Feeds You

Bite the Hand That Feeds You

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Bite the Hand That Feeds You-horse eating out of a handIt makes no sense to bite the hand that feeds you. Some animals who eat out of a person’s hand do. So do many people.

To bite the hand that feeds you means to hurt someone who helps you.

Rather than thank a kind person, you act cruel or rude.

Examples include:

  • Children who mistreat parents who provide for them.
  • Students who make fun of the person who helps them with homework.
  • Employees who gossip about their boss.
  • People who borrow money but never repay it or act ungrateful for it.

Eventually people pay for how they act.

Many receive a taste of their own medicine. Ungrateful children often have children who treat them the same way. They learn from what they see.

Results of biting the hand that feeds you may not be immediate. Usually, however, what goes around comes around.

Why not lend a helping hand?

Instead of hurting others, help them, no strings attached.  Help those who help you, but don’t stop there.

  • Aid others in need.
  • Show kindness to everyone.
  • Learn  to love the unlovable. (Remember, we are all unlovable at times.)

“You make me glad by your deeds, Lord; I sing for joy at what your hands have done” (Psalm 92:4 NIV).

Thanks to Brad Leverett for the suggestion and to Jeri Stone for the photo.

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