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Category: Relationships

Fly off the Handle

Fly off the Handle

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Fly off the HandleDon’t fly off the handle — helpful advice for axes and for people.

An ax can do great good or great harm. Its heavy metal blade cuts through wood. That wood can provide heat, art, building supplies, and more

However, if the ax blade flies off the handle, look out. Anyone nearby is in danger of injury or death.

Likewise, anger can do great good or great harm. Controlled anger helps us:

  • Speak against evil.
  • Right a wrong.
  • Change ourselves.
  • Lead others to change.

However, we often let anger get out of control. Anger controls us rather than our controlling the anger. We fly off the handle (lose our temper). As a result, we suffer and cause others to suffer.

With an ax, we want to:

  • Keep it in good repair.
  • Hold the handle firmly.
  • Cut wood and never hurt people.

With anger we want to:

  • Understand its cause and purpose.
  • Keep it firmly controlled.
  • Use it for good, not harm.

Remember to treat anger like water off a duck’s back. Use it in a positive way, and gain tools for a better life.

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. (Proverbs 29:22)

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Hit the Nail on the Head

Hit the Nail on the Head

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Hit the Nail on the Head-Charity PowellThese young people hit the nail on the head with their hammers. They also hit the nail on the head with their lives.

When we hammer nails, we try to hit the head (the top flat part). We want to hit it exactly right. We may suffer several ways if we miss.

  • The hammer hits a thumb or finger. Ouch!
  • The hammer bends the nail.
  • We damage what we are building or repairing.

However, if we hit the nail on the head, we achieve great results.

When we hit the nail on the head with our lives, we also achieve great results. We get it right.

  • We find the solution to a problem.
  • We give the correct answer.
  • We report a needed change.
  • We live a good life.

When we fail to live well, we suffer.

  • Focusing on ourselves, we miss the joy of service.
  • Ignoring laws and rules, we damage our reputation and influence.
  • Living right only part-time, people don’t trust us.

As this group with Kentucky Heartland Outreach learned, serving God and others is a great way to live. We can learn much from them.

It’s never too late to pick up life’s hammer and hit the nail on the head.

“‘Is not my word like fire,’ declares the LORD, ‘and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?’” (Jeremiah 23:29 NIV)

Thanks to Charity Powell for the photo.

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How Are You?

How Are You?

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How are YouWe often say, “How are you?” as a greeting, not a true question. It sounds like we want to know a person’s physical or emotional health. We usually don’t. Instead, we say it the same way we say:

  • Hi
  • Hello
  • Hey
  • Good morning (afternoon, evening)

Sometimes we alter “How are you?” to “How ya doin’?” (How are you doing?)

We expect people to answer, “Fine. How are you?” or “Fine. How about you?”

We don’t mean to be uncaring. Like most habits, we never think about our actions.

Next time we ask, “How are you?” why not pause long enough for a real response? As Piper did in this picture:

  • Stop what we are doing.
  • Look at the person.
  • Listen carefully.

We might be surprised at what we learn.

This tradition may never change. However, we all benefit by caring for one another. When we take time to listen, we show respect and concern. Our world can certainly use more of that.

“The wise man learns by listening” (Proverbs 21:11 TLB).

Thanks to Karen Atwood for the photo.

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Mind Your Ps and Qs

Mind Your Ps and Qs

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Mind Your Ps and QsSometimes parents or teachers tell children, “Mind your Ps and Qs.” Usually they mean to watch their speech or behavior. They want the children to act right – to mind their manners – to straighten up and fly right.

We need to hear that message too. How often do we:

  • Talk without thinking about the effect of our words?
  • Allow our emotions to control our behavior? We don’t feel well, so we don’t treat others well.
  • Embarrass ourselves by using bad manners?

One thoughtless word or deed can harm or destroy a relationship. Therefore, when we see Ps and Qs on children’s blocks, let’s remember to mind our Ps and Qs.

  • Think before speaking.
  • Think before acting.
  • Use proper manners.

People disagree on the origin of this phrase. It may have begun because the small (lower case) p and q look so much alike. They are the reverse (mirror image) of one another. Therefore, we must be careful when we write. We don’t want to confuse our lettters.

Likewise, we don’t want to confuse right and wrong. Whatever we do, let’s mind our Ps and Qs.

“He wanted them to be understanding, just, and fair in everything they did” (Proverbs 1:3 TLB).

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Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

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Between a Rock and a Hard PlaceI don’t climb mountains. However, I know mountain climbers often find themselves between a rock and a hard place. They climb in difficult areas. Often they have few good choices.

We may not climb physical mountains. Yet, most of us face mountains of difficulty sometime in our lives. We find ourselves between a rock and a hard place. We must make hard decisions with no easy choices. Any choice causes problems.

  • Do we quit our job or work in unfair circumstances?
  • Do we pay rent or buy food?
  • Do we continue painful medical care or stop treatments?

We must choose what we decide is the lesser of two evils.

Aron Ralston faced such a choice after a climbing accident in 2003. He was trapped more than five days. His choice: Do I die or cut off part of my right arm. He used a dull knife to free himself.

Our choices may not be that hard. However, some choices are worse.

I wish I had an easy answer for such situations, but I don’t. I find the following helpful:

1. List the pros and cons for each choice.
2. Discuss the options with a trusted friend or relative.
3. Pray for wisdom.
4. Accept help from others.
5. Get a grip on what matters most.

I pray you face few times between a rock and a hard place.

“You have let me sink down deep in desperate problems. But you will bring me back to life again, up from the depths of the earth” (Psalm 71:20 TLB).

Have you had a rock and hard place experience?  If so, please comment.

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Stand Out

Stand Out

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Stand Out 1We have all seen them: those people who stand out. Something special about them demands our attention. They are like black-eyed Susan flowers surrounded by weeds and trees. We notice them first.

They may be in the middle of a crowded room. Yet, our eyes follow them. They stand out from everyone for many reasons:

  • Physical beauty
  • Laughter
  • Personality
  • Voice
  • Clothes
  • Behavior

However, if people seek attention, we soon tire of them. We don’t enjoy a constant attitude of look at me.  If they focus their attention on others, we like to be around them.

The best way to stand out in a crowd is to point people to something greater than self. Standing tall and standing firm are far more important than standing out.

“Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and instructor” (Hebrews 12:2 TLB).

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Make Waves

Make Waves

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Make WavesPeople sometimes warn us not to make waves. Other times, we realize we must. When we choose to make waves, we:

  • Rock the boat
  • Upset someone or something
  • Shock or disturb
  • Risk being called a trouble maker

Two truths about making waves help us decide what to do.

Waves can do great good, by:

  • Continuing earth’s natural flow
  • Calming us
  • Providing beauty and pleasure

Waves can also do much harm, by causing:

  • Ship wrecks
  • Drowning
  • Destruction of houses or communities.

Likewise, we can do great good or much harm by:

  • Improving or damaging our world
  • Correcting or increasing mistakes

Before we make waves, let’s be certain our actions make a positive difference.

“If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea” (Isaiah 48:18 NIV).

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Sink or Swim

Sink or Swim

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Sink or Swim

Many of us have fallen into water while playing games. Others have had someone throw us into water. Either way, the question remains the same: Will we sink or swim?

Some of us learn to swim quickly from such an experience.

  • We have to work harder.
  • Our swimming may not look pretty.
  • Yet, we swim our way out of danger.

In rough water, the strongest swimmer struggles. A weak swimmer has a much harder time. When a strong swimmer helps a weak one, both grow stronger.

Life is like that. We meet challenges every day. Some we know how to solve with no problem. Others present difficulties we have never experienced.  Either way, we sink (fail) or swim (succeed).

A few challenges may be impossible to overcome. With most, we have a choice. Will we:

  • Give up or try harder?
  • Listen to negatives or positives?
  • Accept our limits or grow?
  • Ignore people weaker than us or help them grow?

“He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’  Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm” (Matthew 8:26 NIV).

Have you had a sink or swim experience? If so, please comment.

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Jack of All Trades

Jack of All Trades

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Jack of All TradesSometimes I would like to be a jack of all trades. I wish I could do lots of different jobs. Instead, I rely on others with all those skills.

I have a friend who can do almost anything. He is the best handyman I know. His skills include:

  • Plumbing
  • Electrical work
  • Yard work
  • Auto repair
  • Carpentry

You name it, he can do it. When our family has a problem, we contact him.

Calling someone a jack of all trades may be a compliment. However, calling the person a jack of all trades, master of none is definitely not a compliment. Then we’re saying the person tries to do many things but does nothing well.

However, we never know what we can do until we try.

As we try, we can evaluate our abilities. If we have certain skills, let’s do our best at them. If we lack talent in other areas, let someone else do those. If we work together and share our skills, everyone benefits.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” (Colossians 3:23 NIV).

Thanks to Rebecca Stafford for this suggestion.

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Like Water off a Duck’s Back

Like Water off a Duck’s Back

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Like Water Off a Duck's BackDo you need a solution for anger or frustration? Watch ducks. That’s right; watch ducks.

Ducks often dive under water for food. When they come up, the water glides over their backs and returns to the pond or lake. Occasionally they shake their feathers to get rid of any extra water.

Ducks show no need to:

  • Watch the water.
  • Quack at the water.
  • Fight the water.

They’re too busy swimming and diving for something to eat.

When life upsets us, let the problem go. Treat it like water off a duck’s back. We don’t have to:

  • Focus on what upsets us.
  • Yell at what upsets us.
  • Fight what upsets us.

Getting upset tires us, so in a duck-like manner:

  • Ignore hateful comments.
  • Overlook insults.
  • When we must respond, do so clearly but kindly.
  • Then shake off any remaining negative feelings.

In the process, we gain freedom — freedom from the control of others and freedom to become our best selves.

We can also pray that those who upset us learn to act like ducks.

“A fool is quick-tempered; a wise man stays cool when insulted” (Proverbs 12:16 TLB).

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