Relationships Archives - Page 6 of 35

Bury the Hatchet

November 28, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

How I wish our world would learn to bury the hatchet. Divisions occur everywhere.

People have always disagreed, and that’s okay. However, why not learn to disagree agreeably? Instead, we:

Hate
Argue
Gossip
Fight

We war against one another with words and actions.

This happens among:

Family members
Friends
Neighbors
Cities
States
Countries

Bury the hatchet originated as a Native American tradition.

According to The Phrase Finder, “Hatchets were buried by the chiefs of tribes when they came to a peace agreement.” What a powerful symbol.

We can bury the hatchet too.

When we recognize destructive speech or behavior, we have a choice. We can follow the same pattern, or we can break the cycle.

Peace requires strength.

To choose not to harm another person or group of people calls for courage. If someone hurts us, our natural reaction is to hurt them. We are ready to lock horns. Yet, two wrongs don’t make a right. Suffering continues on both sides.

Jesus taught and lived love and forgiveness for everyone. Although not easy, that remains the only way to true and lasting peace.

“Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace” (Psalm 37:37 NIV).

Thanks to Ann Knowles for the suggestion. Image by Davie Bicker from Pixabay.

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Go Off the Deep End

November 14, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 11 comments

As children, my sister, brother, and I loved to go off the deep end of a swimming pool. We wanted to see what was under the water. Usually, we found nothing but the bottom of the pool.

In contrast, a dive into the depths of rivers or oceans reveals a new world. We find ourselves surrounded by:

Fish
Rocks
Plants
Other natural wonders

However, a word to the wise: Learn to swim before jumping into deep water.

To go off the deep end means to act crazy.

What we do makes no sense. Our behavior may result from feeling:

Upset
Angry
Excited
Grieved
Lovesick

We go overboard.

When we go off the deep end, we let our emotions take control.

Like a person who can’t swim but jumps into deep water, we fail to use reason. We overreact. We:

Speak before we think
Hurt others or ourselves
Act before we get the facts
Withdraw from sources of help
Move too fast in a relationship

God gave us emotions, but God also gave us brains. Let’s use our heads for more than hat racks.

“Leave behind your foolishness and begin to live; learn how to be wise” (Proverbs 9:6 TLB).

Thanks to Janna Babak for the suggestion.

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Turn the Tables

November 7, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

I never played much chess. However, I played checkers with my dad and sister for years. When I was losing, I hoped to turn the tables. I wanted to win.

I never physically turned the tables to play from the opposite side. However, I tried to change the outcome of the game.

When we turn the tables, we reverse a situation.

It becomes the opposite of what it was. We see such major changes in:

Board games, like chess or checkers
Sports events
Job positions
Any competition

This expression also applies to major changes in plans.

Usually, the change helps the person who had an earlier disadvantage. Roles reverse. The shoe is on the other foot.

How did this expression begin?

According to The Free Dictionary, “Until the mid-18^th century, tables was the usual name for the board game backgammon. Early instances of the use of this phrase, dating from the mid-17^th century, made it clear that it comes from the practice of turning the board so that a player had to play what had previously been their opponent’s position.”

We find examples of turned tables throughout history.

The Bible tells the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him and sold him into slavery. Eventually, Joseph achieved an important leadership position. When famine struck, Joseph’s brothers went to him for grain. They did not recognize him. After Joseph identified himself, his brothers feared for their lives.

Yet, Joseph did not act high and mighty when their roles changed. Instead, he forgave his brothers and provided for them.

Like Joseph, we have an opportunity to help others when the tables turn our way.

^“‘But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50:20-21 NIV).

Thanks to Debbie Tapscott and Beckham Wilson for the suggestion. Image by Waldemar Bajda from Pixabay.

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Play Possum

October 3, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 8 comments

Many of us tried to play possum when we were children. We wanted to stay in bed when our parents said to get up. We kept our eyes closed and remained as still as possible.

We often display similar behaviors as adults. Some days we simply don’t want to rise and shine.

When opossums (or possums) feel threatened, they pretend to be dead.

They try to avoid attack by lying still. Their goal is for the other animals to leave them alone. Apparently, that defense works well.

When faced with danger:

They don’t fight.
They don’t run.
They play dead.

To play possum means to pretend to be dead or asleep.

It may also mean to pretend not to know. We want to avoid a person or situation. We don’t want to:

Wake up
Get up
Work
Accept responsibility

Like the possum, we hope the threat to our rest loses interest and goes away.

The time comes to stop playing possum and get to work.

We need and enjoy rest and play. Yet, for the best life, we also put our hand to the plow and meet our responsibilities.

“How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?” (Proverbs 6:9 NIV).

Thanks to Carole Fite for the suggestion.

Image by daynaw3990 from Pixabay

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High Horse

September 12, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 7 comments

None of us has any reason to get on a high horse. However, when life goes well, we face the temptation to act high and mighty.

To get on a high horse means to act superior.

Years ago, people of high rank rode tall horses. That custom became a symbol of superiority.

If we are on a high horse, we believe or act like we are better than others. That may mean higher:

Morals
Power
Finances
Position

However, the higher the horse, the farther the fall.

When we look down on other people, we lower ourselves. Our highfalutin ways end up hurting rather than helping. They also make other people respect us less, not more.

If we fail or fall from a high rank, the loss hurts worse.

We want confidence but not arrogance.

To be more effective, we need to get off our high horse and work with one another.

As we learn and grow together, we become better people. Rather than look down on others, we want to lift them up.

We travel this journey of life together. Why not unite and achieve more?

That makes good horse sense. Don’t you agree?

“Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor” (Proverbs 29:23 NIV).

Thanks to Pat Childress Conner Stapp for the suggestion and to Chelsey Stone for the photo.

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Blow Your Top

September 5, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

Recently, I told a relative about a fake friend request. She hates for people to misuse her pictures and information. As a result, she suggested a post on blow your top.

To blow your top means to become very angry.

Similar expressions include:

Blow your stack
Blow off steam
Blow your lid

All mean you lose your temper.

When you blow your top, you lose control.

Your emotions erupt like an active volcano. During that explosion, anyone nearby risks danger. This often happens quickly and without warning.

Possible behavior includes:

Shouting
Destroying property
Hurting other people
Hurting yourself

Such behavior can become a way of life.

You have to be careful not to cut off your nose to spite your face. If anger takes control, everyone loses, including you.

When appropriate, anger can help right a wrong.

You want to manage anger wisely. Use it for good when necessary. If it becomes harmful, nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32 NIV).

Thanks to Rebecca Stafford for the suggestion. Image by Enrique from Pixabay.

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Bought the Farm

August 29, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 10 comments

The Nature Conservancy bought the farm that belonged to the Hall family in South Central Kentucky. That purchase marked the end of family traditions but the beginning of public traditions.

The Homeplace on Green River has become an outdoor classroom. It hosts events throughout the year. According to its website, it offers:

Immersive educational programs
Community festivals
Event rentals
Hiking trails
Crop land leasing
Lab and conservation programs
And more

If we have bought the farm, we have died.

Family members and friends grieve the loss of life and past family traditions. Yet, life goes on, and new traditions begin.

We find possible origins for this expression at The Phrase Finder.

Numerous expressions describe death.

Bite the dust
No longer with us
End of the road
Pass away
Breathe your last
Pass on

We find other expressions for death at Kick the Bucket.

When we have bought the farm, our life on earth ends.

However, our eternal home begins. If we accept Jesus as personal Savior and Lord, we have the promise of a home in heaven with Him.

“Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24 NIV).

Thanks to Diana Flegal for the suggestion

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High Cotton

August 22, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

Whether we know it or not, we probably wish we were in high cotton.

During the height of cotton’s growing season, fluffy fields of white appear throughout the southern United States. Growers hope for a successful crop.

When we achieve success, we are in high cotton.

Businesses earn a high profit.
Students make good grades.
Families enjoy the perfect home.
Children receive their favorite toys.

High cotton does not give us the right to act high and mighty.

Success does not make us any better or worse than anyone else. With an attitude of gratitude, we use our success to help other people succeed. Rather than a big head, we develop a big heart.

We want to bear fruit that makes a lasting impact.

We have only a few years on this earth. What we do with them makes an eternal difference.

Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all (1 Chronicles 29:12 NIV).

Thanks to James E. Hodges for the suggestion. Image by Clayton Decker from Pixabay.

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Many Hands Make Light Work

August 15, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 6 comments

Do you have little helpers who remind you that many hands make light work? Maybe your children or grandchildren? Perhaps a neighbor or friend?

Many of my favorite experiences involve children who helped me. Their help may have meant extra time or a bigger mess. Yet, what fun. They learned to work together and to help one another.

Many hands make light work means the more who work together, the easier and faster the work.

Work may be on:

A garden’s long hard rows to hoe
Large family meals
Caregiving for family members
A youth group project

Many hands may not make the work easy as pie. It will make the work easier.

Many hands make light work applies to all areas of life.

Jobs
Family
Friends
Community
Church
Volunteer work

Take advantage of opportunities to lend a helping hand.

Supporting one another makes life better for everyone – the one who receives help plus the one who helps.

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands” (Psalm 90:17 NIV).

Thanks to Tracy Crump for the suggestion and to Karen Atwood for the photo.

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Grow Like a Weed

August 8, 2022 Diana Derringer Comments 4 comments

My youngest relatives grow like a weed. One day, they are knee high to a grasshopper. The next, they stand as high as my shoulder. Now, most tower over me.

It takes longer than three days for that to happen. However, they do grow fast.

To grow like a weed means to grow quickly.

If we have a garden, we have weeds. We pull the weeds. A day or two later, we have more weeds. Tall weeds. The battle never ends.

To grow like a weed also means to grow well.

We want our vegetables or flowers to grow well. When we bite into tomatoes, still warm from the vine, we almost burst with joy. Yet, to enjoy those tomatoes, we must deal with pesky weeds.

Weeds grow almost anywhere.

In addition to gardens, we find them in:

Yards
Fields
Parks
Cracks in sidewalks

Many weeds are beautiful.

People in Kentucky try to keep dandelions out of our yards. Yet, a first-time visitor from South Korea loved our beautiful yellow flowers.

Considered a weed by many people, goldenrod is Kentucky’s state flower. It turns a bare field into an ocean of gold.

All of us were created to grow.

We may not grow as fast or as well as a weed. However, we can grow and bloom where we are planted. Let’s make the world a more beautiful place with our presence.

“We are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field” (1 Corinthians 3:9 NIV).

Thanks to Beckham Wilson for the suggestion.

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