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Category: Relationships

Half-Hearted

Half-Hearted

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Half-Hearted--autumn maple leaf with heart in centerI don’t like to play golf. When family or friends invite me, I play a half-hearted game. I prefer to hit the trail for a long walk in the country. Nature’s beauty thrills me any time of year, not hours on a golf course.

Half-hearted means my heart is not in an activity.

I don’t care for the activity or its results. Therefore, I give it little attention or effort. Other half-hearted examples include to:

  • Say, “I am sorry,” but not mean it
  • Invite a friend to visit but hope they stay home
  • Study for a test while texting and watching television

Sometimes half-hearted means I lack courage.

I act like a coward, full of fear. Rather than do what needs to be done, I hope someone else does it.

For example, if a frog were to get in my house, I would probably wait in another room while a braver person gets it out. I might yell at the frog to leave – from a distance. Because frogs jump too fast, I would want help. So far, all frogs have stayed outside.

When others need help, I want to give them whole-hearted attention.

May God fill me with the courage to show true love and concern. Like so many who have helped me, I want to serve God and help others from the heart—my whole heart.

“I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever” (Psalm 86:12 NIV).

Thanks to Becky Nash Rowe for the suggestion. Image by Rebekka D with Pixabay.

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Hang Out to Dry

Hang Out to Dry

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Hang Out to Dry--clothes on a clothesline outside a windowAfter Mom washed our clothes and put them through the wringer, she took them to the clothesline to hang out to dry. Most days the clothes dried in sunshine and gentle breezes. However, they occasionally received the worst of weather:

  • Storms
  • Freezing rain
  • Winds so strong clothes blew off the line

Whether good or bad weather, those clothes had no control over the winds that blew.

When we hang others out to dry, we desert them to face danger alone.

Like clothes in the wind, they have:

  • No control over the situation.
  • Little or no support

At times, we want to hurt or punish them. Other times, we simply want to avoid our own trouble.

I don’t know anyone who wants to hang out to dry.

Life is hard enough without others leaving us alone in a bad situation.

Neither should we hang anyone else out to dry.

When anyone deserts us or we desert someone else, remember the situation will eventually come out in the wash.

The Golden Rule tells us, “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12 NIV).

Thanks to Karen Hart for the suggestion. Image by Philipp Ruch from Pixabay.

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Beat around the Bush

Beat around the Bush

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Beat around the Bush--a bush behind bare tree limbsA preschool relative visited our family years ago. She used my mother’s perfume without permission. When Mom asked what she had done, Kim beat around the bush. Over and over she responded, “I’m just tired.”

When we don’t want to say something, we may beat around the bush.

Ways we do that include:

  • Avoid a discussion or a question, as Kim did
  • Waste time talking about something else
  • Delay the discussion or our response
  • Answer cautiously, giving little information
  • Offer misleading information

To beat around the bush referred originally to bird hunts.

The Phrase Finder explains, “In bird hunts some of the participants roused the birds by beating the bushes.” Therefore, beating around or “‘beating about the bush’ was the preamble to the main event, which was the capturing of the birds.” According to The Free Dictionary, “Not to go directly to such foliage but to work around it instead gave the impression of wasting time or not trying very hard to raise the birds.”

Beating around the bush may cause a tangled web of trouble.

 If we fail to speak honestly and clearly, we risk harming ourselves or others. Minor issues may not matter. However, important issues demand our best response.

May our words, as well as our actions, always follow the straight and narrow.

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6 NIV).

Thanks to Brad Leverett for the suggestion.

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In One Ear and Out the Other

In One Ear and Out the Other

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In One Ear and Out the Other--three horses, only one looking and listeningMany people wonder if anyone hears what they say. Their words seem to go in one ear and out the other.

  • Children ignore or forget what parents say.
  • Students fail to remember or do what teachers say.
  • Husbands or wives declare they did not hear their spouse’s words.
  • Pets pay no attention.

Those to whom they speak:

  • Hear noise
  • May hear words
  • Fail to hear the message

In one ear and out the other means people do not hear or quickly forget what another person says.

It often implies they do not listen or pay attention.

Occasionally it refers to selective hearing — hearing what they want to hear and ignoring the rest. Other times, people pay no attention to anyone whose beliefs differ from theirs.

Too many distractions cause many messages to go in one ear and out the other.

Distractions result from:

  • Multi-tasking — trying to do too much at the same time
  • Focusing on phones, television, books, or other interests rather than the person talking

People usually hear and remember if they stay all ears.

They focus totally on the person talking. They listen with their eyes  as well as their ears. That kind of attention shows respect for the speaker and the speaker’s message — a good plan for anyone.

“Ears that hear and eyes that see—the Lord has made them both” (Proverbs 20:12 NIV).

Thanks to Emily Akin for the suggestion and to Mary Lou Rafferty for the photo.

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If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

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If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It-old house and overgrown rail fenceHave you noticed how often we change our lives? We try to improve ourselves, other people, or our possessions. A desire to improve can be a wonderful idea. However, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. (I apologize for the poor grammar, but that is the way we say it.)

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it tells us to leave things alone if they work well.

A word to the wise: Why cause problems if we have no need to change?

Small children who take things apart often fail to put them back together. The same happens with adults. (Ask me about my one and only effort at plumbing.) When we try to fix something not broken, we may never get it to work again.

We often try to fix our lives with the newest, best, and most expensive of everything.

  • Cellphones
  • Laptops
  • Televisions
  • Cars
  • Houses
  • Clothes
  • Shoes
  • Appliances

And the list keeps growing.

We give away, sell, or throw away perfectly good items to buy similar items to take their place.

As a result:

  • We stay in debt.
  • Landfills grow larger with all our trash.
  • We never find satisfaction with who we are or what we have.

Fix what needs to be fixed, but don’t try to correct a problem that does not exist.

We do well when we learn to live well whatever our circumstances. Certainly, we want to:

  • Take care of our health
  • Improve our lives and the lives of others
  • Make our world safer
  • Stand firm for what is right

Yet, we don’t want to:

  • Tear down progress already made
  • Hurt others
  • Destroy our world
  • Compromise what is morally right

When we try to fix what ain’t broken, we get everything out of whack. Instead let’s live in such a way that we and those around us have reason to burst for joy.

“Correct and rebuke your people when they need it, encourage them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God’s Word” (2 Timothy 4:2 TLB).

Thanks to Charles Smithers for the suggestion.

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The Pits

The Pits

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The Pits-overflowing bowl of cherries and knifeMany in the world have faced difficult circumstances in recent days. A few describe their situation as the pits.

One problem stacks on top of other problems.

  • Illness
  • Storms
  • Difficult relationships
  • Job loss
  • Death

Troubles never seem to stop. Each day people wonder what will happen next and wait for the next shoe to drop.

The pain and uncertainty of life occasionally overwhelm.

People wonder where to turn and what to do. They feel like they are dealing with the worst of the worst. At the end of their rope, they want to give up in despair.

The pits can refer to a situation or a place.

Either way, no one wants to go there or stay there.

The origin of the pits remains uncertain.

Possibilities include:

  • Cherry or other fruit pits
  • Holes in the ground
  • Armpits
  • The service area in a car race
  • Coal pits

 None of these sound like a good place to stay.

Most people eventually get out of the pits.

  • They recover from illness.
  • Storms pass.
  • Relationships improve or they find new ones.
  • Other jobs become available.
  • Faith offers hope for life beyond death.

Whether in the pits or on top of the world, we have access to God who offers hope in every circumstance of life.

“I called on your name, Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: ‘Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.’ You came near when I called you, and you said, ‘Do not fear.’” Lamentations 3:55-57 NIV).

Thanks to Debbie Tapscott for the suggestion and the photo.

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In a Jiffy

In a Jiffy

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In a Jiffy-Busy Vancouver, Gas Town street“Stay right there. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” I wonder how many parents have said that to a child. Or how many spouses have said that to one another. They don’t want the person to move. They will return quickly

In a jiffy means in a short amount of time.

 Closely related to immediately, if not sooner, in a jiffy can refer to:

  • The speed of a person’s work (“I will finish this in a jiffy.”)
  • How long a person will be gone (“I will return in a jiffy.”)
  • The promise of good service (“Your waiter will be with you in a jiffy.)
  • No delay of any kind

In today’s world of instant gratification, people expect almost everything in a jiffy.

No one wants to wait. Patience remains in short supply.

However, much in life is better with time.

  • Fresh fruit and vegetables need time to ripen.
  • People need time to learn.
  • Research requires time for accuracy.

In these and other instances, haste makes waste.

Speed is often necessary. However, rather than rush, people usually do well to take one step at a time.

“If we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (Romans 8:25 NIV).

Thanks to Liz Gray for the suggestion.

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A Hill of Beans

A Hill of Beans

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A Hill of Beans-stick beans in a gardenMy grandmother often said, “That doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.” In other words, it is not worth much.

A hill of beans means something has little value.

It is not important – a dime a dozen.

Beans are fairly common and grow easily. If we don’t grow them, we can find them on most grocery shelves. They cost little. Therefore, a hill of beans is worth little. If we don’t like beans, they are worth nothing.

Several items are not worth a hill of beans:

  • Outdated coupons
  • Broken tools
  • Electronics no one uses

Most things don’t amount to a hill of beans. All people do.

As long as we have what we need to survive, possessions matter little. Plus, we can’t take them with us.

Rather than focus on the things we own, let’s aim to treat others well.

  • Show the respect we desire.
  • Love others as God loves.
  • Encourage everyone to be their best.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10 NIV).

Thanks to Darrin Jenkins for the suggestion and to Jewell Wade for the photo.

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie--dog curled up in sleepLike several animals (and a few people) dogs can be dangerous when suddenly wakened. Therefore, we usually let sleeping dogs lie. We leave them alone to sleep in peace.

In daily life, we often choose to let sleeping dogs lie.

Instead of causing trouble, we avoid it. We don’t want to make a bad situation worse. If all is well and no one will benefit, why hurt anyone? We leave good enough alone.

Many words or actions only cause problems. Therefore,

Most situations are none of our business. Gossip and interference make us busybodies and do no one any good

However, at times we need to speak or act.

We must take a stand when necessary to:

  • Make a bad situation better
  • Help someone who hurts

Stay out of the doghouse. Unless actions will help, let sleeping dogs lie.

“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3 NIV).

Thanks to Brad Leverett for the suggestion. Photo courtesy of Pixabay.

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Hold Someone’s Feet to the Fire

Hold Someone’s Feet to the Fire

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Hold Someone's Feet to the Fire--fireman holding baby in front of fireLast week we looked at cold feet. This week we explore holding someone’s feet to the fire. I doubt many of us desire either condition.

Holding a person’s feet to the fire was a form of torture years ago. It was also a way to test a person’s courage.

Although we may not use real fire today, we still hold people’s feet to the fire.

When we hold someone’s feet to the fire, we pressure a person to do something.

  • We may want the person to do what he said he would do.
  • We may also try to force a person to do what we want him to do.

Occasionally we need to resist the pressure of others.

We don’t always want to do what they want us to do.

The Bible tells of three young men thrown into a fiery furnace, because they remained faithful to God. God was with them and kept them safe. Yet, they were willing to die for their faith, if necessary.

If we follow God, He remains with us, whatever fiery trials we face.

Like the three young men, we may have to go through the fire, unsure of the outcome. Like fire fighters who risk their lives for others, we may suffer when we serve our hurting world. However, we have the promise of God’s presence, whatever happens.

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18 NIV).

Thanks to Margaret Bertram for the suggestion. Photo courtesy of Pixabay.

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