Hem and Haw
A young cousin visited our family years ago. When no one was looking, she helped herself to Mom’s perfume. Lots of perfume. Stink-you-out-of-the-house strong. When Mom asked about it, Kim chose to hem and haw.
Kim looked at the ground, the sky, and the trees. Never at Mom. Regardless of what Mom said, she responded, “I’m just tired.”
Kim did not want to answer Mom’s question. She was not caught red-handed, but she was obviously guilty.
According to The Free Dictionary, to hem and haw is “to refuse to give a definite answer.”
“‘Hem,’ similar … to … ‘ahem,’ [means] to hesitate. ‘Haw’ [means] much the same…. Combine the two, and you have someone who’s stalling for time and hoping not to have to respond any further.”
Some people simply say “hem haw.”
To hem and haw also means to act with uncertainty.
Both meanings often involve:
- Pauses
- Unclear speech
- Poor eye contact
- Vague answers
- Frequent throat clearing (a similar sound to the expression)
Such behavior occurs when people don’t know how to answer or don’t want to answer.
Rather than a direct reply, they stall with meaningless sounds or words.
Saying “I don’t know” or “I did it” sounds better than avoiding the truth.
Honesty helps keep people out of hot water. Choose the right way now to stay out of trouble now and later.
“Speak the truth to each other” (Zechariah 8:16 NIV).
Thanks to Terrie Wilson for the suggestion. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.
NOTE: While exploring related expressions, I discovered I used a similar introduction for beat around the bush. However, it works so well for both, I decided to keep it here too.
Do you have an expression you want explained or a thought about this one? If so, please comment below.
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11 thoughts on “Hem and Haw”
As someone who has hemmed and hawed at times throughout my entire life, I so appreciate the post. Sometimes it was because I lacked confidence or was shy. Now and again, it’s because I didn’t want to own up to something I did that I probably shouldn’t have done. And other times, it’s because I didn’t want to say what I really thought as I was afraid I would hurt the other person’s feelings. Lots of reasons to hem and haw. I know, I’m pretty good at it. LOL I so enjoy the terms and phrases you share with us. Many, I’ve not heard for years and years. Thank you for keeping them from being lost to the ages.
Thank you for your encouragement and your great comments here and on your Facebook page. The comments above gave me much to consider. Your comments on Facebook gave me a great laugh. I appreciate both.
It’s a way to avoid telling the truth, isn’t it? But we can’t hem and haw with God. He already knows!
So true, Tracy. I should have added that in the post. Have a great week!
Another great one. This makes me think of how many times people have tried to hem and haw with God. He always knows the truth. Have a blessed week! 🙂
Thank you, Melissa. That’s a great twist on this expression–something else I should have included.
Too much hemming and hawing going on these days. Let us simply tell the truth.
Blessings, Diana!
Good point, Martha. Thank you. Blessings on you and all your endeavors.
I grew up hearing “hem and haw” and “beat around the bush” expressions often. I admit to using them myself occasionally, although I’m usually the opposite and would rather speak the truth and get it off my chest (now there’s a saying you’ve probably already investigated–“get it off my chest”). Thank you for sharing your insight and sharing a smile. Your young cousin probably learned that “hem and haw” doesn’t work in all situations.
Thank you for your kind words, Katherine. I don’t think I have written on “get it off my chest.” I will have to explore that one soon. Thanks for the idea. Kim definitely learned not to get into Mom’s perfume anymore!